Mean it.

I know I have to actually sleep now? No I don't know.
I know I should have continue to crap on the assignment :(
I really wana just finish it like zzzoomm. and hand up. end.
week 6 is coming. marking the middle of the semester already. unbelieeeevable.
and. I started coffee only in week 5. but as usual, it didnt work well anymore, compared to the last time, it makes me feel sleepy even more, eh like seriously :(

About the stress realistic part. Helpless as usual.
So many, stuffs. So many things that I wana do.
and, i realise, in order to do them, there is maybe, only one thing to do, at least.
and i hate this part, cuz this seems like the most crucial part of the everything after, and it needs a lot of sacrifices, plannings, evaluations, considerations, courages, and.... strategies i suppposed.
the best part is, no one can ever help, or there isn't even a way to help.
I hate decisions.

现实是残酷的。
Realistically, we need to be realistic. Can I please please grow up a bit faster.
gah.

Appreciate that I could actually still get to experience that minimal level of relaxation through the ear, sad is when things have changed, and I couldn't at least temporarily leave ALL those changes aside for even some very short time. OR I hope it was because I was too tired.
Still, hope to get the piano fixed. (It's been years, yeshh, i mean years, not exaggerating hello.)

Pathetic reality.
Gain gain my EQ fast. please! Adaptation needed.

Happy Birthday Babe! Loves!

----
btw, went and visited aunt in the hospital. like, life is really sad sometimes, when we're to face these. 生老病死。
So, 我应该用什么心态去面对 I don't know.

(update: Adults, what are you trying to hide? I'm big enough to actually try to understand and learn to accept, so you could actually just, let.me.know.)
so dad actually went out just now for visit again, alone. and curiously enough, he is not elaborating further and I know I shouldn't ask further then. fine.