2une.♥

CNY!

2012-01-26T22:08:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year again!
Can't wait to open all the angpaus :P

I enjoyed this CNY a lot, even though I didn't seem to have very good luck for cny gambling hehe.
SO, annoying matters are not gonna annoy me kthxbai.

Love spending time with family and relatives (:
I actually love visiting houses also, because all those we visit are of orang yang quite berada, I enjoy their interior a lot. Their houses were like some place I wished I could retire at :P

Some photos (:

So this is my initial manicure I did myself, then when I was about to continue with the other fingers, aunt and cousins reached our house from JB, and cousin's gf works in a beauty saloon, and she brought home all the materials and machine, so we took turn for our blinky gel manicure (:

Sis's gel manicure, with ribbon deco. I did not add on ribbon lol.

Gel manicure on the making.

This's mine. Cny red red ma :p

Then we have our aunt to make up for us. and she gave us all her branded cosmetics as she has damn a lot. We have more than years of cosmetics supply already. whee.

Grand Piano at uncle's house! The sound is really nice.
AND what're more is, its really played by Eason Chan in Genting before!

Then on 2nd day. The dato treat us whole family dinner at The Ritz Carlton Hotel. And. sorry, it sucks (mean it, max).

ok la. except the salmon lousang.

Beloved daddy mummy!

Then at aunt's house after.

Me and Cookie Monster/Blue Elmo again!

And polaroid.

And daddy brought me to Pavillion seeing me rotting at home (:

And till then! (:
Happy cny yo.

2012-01-13T00:29:00.001+08:00

CNY is so near (:
Relatives from other states came back which brought up the cny atmosphere already!
My recent activities are baking baking baking and more baking. and some shopping and some dating.

Cuz the taste is actually, not bad! We have orders. and now we have to rush our orders.
We used all the good ingredients, we even toasted our almond and place half an almond in the butter cookies beneath the dark chocolate. (all because I love dark choco better, and our initial intention of baking was only to feed ourselves :P, then we baked more cuz relatives and friends asked for more (: )
Its kinda bored to repeat the same procedures with the same ingredients everyday honestly. I would love to try other cookies or cakes and all. But its ok. Baking is still fun as it brought us satisfaction when we share it around and when people appreciates it :D
As usual we bake macaroons too. Its not easy to do that. And ours are so damn over sweet. But yet some people liked it (: But due to the London Almond Chocolate cookies baking, we neglected macaroons a lot already hehe.

A lil excited for CNY now. Its about not sleeping early, gambling with relatives, then eat and eat and watch tv, and laughs, and of course, angpaus :P
But hopefully angpau money will be enough to cover all the purchases of new clothes and those spendings associated with cny hehee.

Till then.

p/s: Garrett Popcorn is not nice at all. Me n bf cant even finish one small pack. Don't get why its like so w-o-w here. And the cheese one, is not crispy at all, plus a lot of colouring. Our fingers were so yellowish with the cheese's colour leftover even after we washed our hands. No offend, but friendly advice, not worth trying AT ALL. (at least the one in 1u).

2011-12-31T02:33:00.000+08:00

It's the last day of 2011.
A year which indeed changed me and my life a lot, but in the end, some things remained the same.
A year which I was forced to learn a lot.
A year that I had to push my limits, in every ways, mentally especially.
Studies had became nothing but something I wished I could give it my full attention at that moment but I could't.
I stepped into the realistic community earlier, before I need to, apparently.
And all those tears. And decisions. Crucial.
Gained, lost and learned, so much I couldn't remember, and at this moment of the year, I don't wish to remember.
It was so contented. It seems to be all frozen now.

2011 I started my 1st relationship, unexpectedly, with someone unexpected (:
It was all those things above that I'd mentioned that brought this up.
Tears he wiped away from my face those times. Times I missed him when I got away.
Life is fair.
It was all those sorrows that lead me to the existence of love.
I got someone that I want to spend my life with.
Life is never the same, when someone brings back happiness back into my life, supports me in every way, truthful confessions that build confidence in our relationship, I couldn't be any more grateful.

Back packing experience was a breakthrough for me. And I wish for more the coming year.
Traveling was never this memorable. Experienced the enjoyables of leaving this place for a couple of days, and the extreme shock of accidents we went through. I love it when I am forced to be independent. And it would be impossible here.

Next year would be another frame of uncertainties. Graduation. The reality. Decisions. All and all. I need luck, I need change, I need more improvements, not another mingle around, fall and stand up and learned. I know it has to be that way but I really hope not, I don't see much time I am left with. I got to trust myself.

It was a year that I'm nearest to both extreme ends, the positive and negative, the yin and yang.
Better year ahead. Bless. (:

It's been awhile (:

2011-12-22T01:47:00.001+08:00

Hello wello.
I'd got not enough of getting aways.
All I want is to enjoy my last last summer break ever.
Then next break would be the holiday of jobless, stepping into the university of community.

Anyways,
Im still 'busy' for updates, and do all my photos uploading stuffs.
There's so many many photos to be uploaded and filtered.
and i have flu again. It always happen when I stopped doing things, or going places. great.
'Busy' with house chores, bdays, dinners, this and that!
and its Christmas, and New Year, and CNY!

Hm will be updating bout my trips and all soon! (:

I hate everything that has to do with my teeth.
Went n had a dental check today, and I got many decayed teeth, and had to go through operation for my wisdom tooth, and also to re-make my retainer. and they all cost bulks! :(

Till then.

p/s: now even though things still happen, sometimes, finally, I can say that I am truly happy (:
(well, when I can temporarily forgot about no cash)

21.

2011-12-03T20:59:00.002+08:00

Like I said. 21 didnt mean much to me except for the reminder that I am already 21, and that I have to act like one, i.e. mature.
The key. Like what he said. Chinese parents give key, ONLY. And what lock are they telling you to unlock? Here's the trick. By this they actually mean, no, you're not unlocking any keys. I.e. decoration purpose.
You're not an adult yet, and always.
Im not complaining Im really not.

21 means I'd lived on this world for 2 decades, apparently. But had I really lived so long? in this world i mean. The world's so damn big but all I see all these while's so limited. So much things that'd blinded the wonderfulness of the actual mean of living.

I love seeing things. and I forget. I snap them down, those wonderful ones. I love going around. and only I know it. You know how I always wanted to go out for shooting alone, and in the end of the day, I enjoy my photos, just the way you don't. You know how I don't really enjoy shooting when its what people asked me to.

21. All you got was so shallow. It actually means nothing.

Good luck, till I die.

p/s: So, before I realised, result will be out in 2 days.

December.

2011-12-02T00:41:00.001+08:00

Yeaah. December is here already (:

Just came back from Cherating with the bf, gotto fetch parents from KLIA later!
And Sunday night, going to Taiping and Penang for few days again!
And after that, few more days later till Phuket trip!
Oh, Groupon promised my full refund, cool ! Thanks so much (:

Just some photos before I rest!

Bday dinner on Sunday. I do not actually have many photos for posting up stating the fact that I suck in low light condition shooting, and that no one's actually familiar with using baby barley hehe.
And I totally fgt to take any photos with friends in Craft Brews. I think cuz I was stucked in seats inside lol.
Anyways, (:

Thanks my A-level peeps who attended, I love hanging out and talking with them!

Also other friends who made it. (:

and of cuz my boy for treating and talking to my friends hehe.

After that had 2nd round at The Sanctuary, The Curve.

And so the next day, surprise lunch. :)

with all the best buddiesss!

Thanks MC for her photos or I wont have this series of wonderful photos to keep as memories hehe.

and they got me.....

and the card as shown in photos above!

So, its my bday-photo card :)

Thank youuu all!

And especially my dear bf for the day, and the surprise.

He had to make up so many lies to me in the car, answering calls from my friends but has to pretend to be someone else and not mentioning anything regarding the surprise.

Love.

At night, bf's parents treated bday dinner at Kura, One World Hotel.

And..... we saw rat running below the tables behind :\

They compensated us with some nice dessert. Well, every restaurants have rats they said, just how well they were hidden. Dear got freaked out haha.

Cherating!

Just some photos :)

Its monsoon there now. and it feels like a day trip more cuz the 1st and the 3rd day we cant really go around.

Update the next time!

Till then!

:):

2011-11-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Cheap things got no good things.
Air Asia like that, Groupons Malaysia also like that. Thats' why I hate these two company. Last time they always lure me with their deals, now they dissapoint me with all their suckening service.

Air Asia changed changed flights over and over again. They suck. And they still think OH THIS IS NORMAL.
Groupons Malaysia. I bought their Phuket deal of 58% discounted day trip deal. And when my other friends who I am going with, when they checked the deal page this morning when it has 12 more hours left for purchase, the deal ended. Not like I can use the coupon myself right? They picked up my phone just now, but ntg they could do. They asked me to email them. And I did. Surprisingly they replied the 1st email within 15 mins, and asked me if I have friends or family to give that deal to. I said NO, moreover its one pax only. They never replied my email anymore until now. They suck too.

-
Anyway, going to Cherating tmr with baby. (:
Thanks all for all those regarding my birthday. Felt blessed.
Had great night having dinner and chill out with friends, and had a surprise bday lunch at TGI.
They got me a new camera lens! Its AF Nikkor 50mm f/1.8D!
Know what, I actually wanted to get the exact same one recently! (:
Bf's parents treated me a dinner at Kura, One World Hotel.
Love.

p/s: Love the bf! :P

You like lar.

2011-11-26T00:42:00.005+08:00

I don't know what to say already.
KTHXBAI.

Happily im gonna pass my bday with them who can make it a happy one.
And im so gonna enjoy all my vacations without any unhappiness.

Cherating, Taiping, Penang and Phuket in December, here I come!
Was happily discussing it with friends just now.
But sad I cant bring baby along when we're out to the sea!

(:

p/s: thanks daddy for his greatest bday gift, when I needed most. Love.

Glad I have jobs! (:

2011-11-21T00:29:00.001+08:00

Pretty filled up days ( :
Had awesome a day trip with monashians on friday.
Had Umaiyah buffet ytd. oh and yumcha? hah.
Helped out on dear's World's Children Day event today.
Inviting for bday now. Pretty last min and it would be a very very very small bday dinner (:
Preparing for lovely December <3

More updates on above soon!
So so many photos to be processed.
(I will just enjoy the photos myself if i weren't urged :P)

Till then.

2011-11-17T15:34:00.002+08:00

Exam ended.
And apparently I am not following my plans listed on my notes : P

But I came to realise that my calender is actually full of dates occupied with events. Maybe I just gonna go through these events, and only I could actually plan for anything else.

That annoying thing didn't actually work on me in a way that pushes me to a more realistic direction. Maybe being mean of me, the more they plan to push me that way, the more I wish to oppose, and stand at where I really wish to be.

Apart of that, I thought people has changed. After that, I think, no, he/she has been like this long ago, just that I forgot. In between was, things had changed that caused me to forget, it was just temporarily covered up. Its okay, it didn't make me sad for very long. This apparently gave me courages to walk towards a clearer decision. Just that, it didn't give me enough courage to actually send the message out. In this, I failed. I wasted a night of uncontrollable thoughts running everywhere, bumping into each other, and also salt water that flows out. It is still okay.

I know I'll be able to have some getaway sometimes soon. And I count it half a month, in a week or two. I can't wait, so I went hiding in the city, the center of the city yesterday. I know it wouldn't be one that brings me away frm reality, cuz its a shopping centre just so you know. So I did shopping too, opps. I brought Barley along too. Thats the whole point, apparently. Its still a heavy baby T.T

So, friends have been asking me for a get together on my bday. I am still thinking. If I were to, I might probably just invite some close friends that I hang out often to come over and have a small small get tgthr. I am so not used to being the center of attention, so I don't want a party or any sort. But in a way, a get tgther, will be much easier, as I wouldn't need to make diff arrangement for diff group of friends. Or I would just pass my bday as simple as I could : ) They said its 21st hello. I don't see a very big deal seriously. Still thinking : )

Till then.

This 1 year.

2011-11-08T11:45:00.000+08:00

Can't believe this one whole freaking year changed me, people and things around so so much. Its too much too fast that it feels so unhealthy. Life is not supposed to be like this isn't it. I won't wish to have go back to a year ago. It would anyhow happen sometime after. But I would now pray hard for pursuing a new life, a reborn, and live life the way i want. I don't even have the time and energy to actually care of what people feel and think. Yes I grew to be this selfish thanks to the reality they showed me. Life is too short to live other people's life. Lastly, I wish the best for you too.

Someone Like You - Adele.

2011-11-05T17:02:00.001+08:00

"Someone Like You"

I heard that you settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

_____

Not really a big fans of Adele, as I don't really like Rolling in the deep.
But I kinda love this song.

I won't be able to find someone like you.

病。

2011-10-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

我每次生病都会告诉自己要记得现在生病有多痛苦，可是好了又忘记了，想吃什么就吃什么，也没有按时运动。
真的希望痊愈过后能够记得我现在是多么的不舒服 :(

好像每次在考试前一定会大病小病的病一次，是考试前忧郁症状吗哈哈。

无论如何我知道一直地埋怨没用，只能比别人努力更加多倍，把失去的时光都读回来。

只是病了有第四天了，真的很无奈，一点精神都没有。

明天一定要好了！
（昨天也是这样说的)
唉。

Not the time.

2011-10-17T13:05:00.001+08:00

I went Malacca on sat, and back on ytd.
I did not bring any camera, I did not take any single photo.
Because it wasn't meant to be a vacation I knew it.
Glad it wasn't that sad, as in, I still get to try chicken rice ball, the mille crepe cake, and satay celup, not with the group.

It was many years since my last time there seriously.
Hope one day, I could go there with barley, as a vacation.

So again, realistic overdosed.
There is no way I could just leave as I want.
And all I could is to take up all these myself.
NO ONE would ever understand.
It is more complicated than you think it is.

p/s: actually if you don't know how to use it, a dslr could give photo worse than normal camera, i am damn serious, no offense but sometimes im really !@$%#^ with those owner who do not utilise their cam well and come out with those !@$#%^!$ photos, hello, it can do better job than that! SO, just go learn some super basic settings of the cam pleaseee, or why spend the money? haiyor. dissapointed with them who just want to hang the black square box on their neck as a cool accessory. Grrr.

2011-10-10T22:29:00.000+08:00

准备的双人的车票
祝福未来的目标
艳阳高高照或大雨风暴
贴心的问好
傻傻的你都不知道
你有多麽的重要
当你发高烧当你睡不好
我也感应的到
左手是喜欢右手不求回报
才让爱紧紧守牢
有你的欢笑也有我的牢骚
忘了什麽叫单调
昨天小争吵今天全都忘掉
又逛到天荒地老
当世界都静静沉睡了我要你听到
你是我左上角的心跳

To be adviced.

2011-10-10T12:48:00.001+08:00

You know one day I will either leave, (of cuz I will inform the loved ones) or change my accessible contacts, my social network and all, (not that extreme, I will inform the loved ones and few close friends, only) and start a new life (bringing only the good part - the loved ones and good friends).

Only if.

2011-10-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

昨天放了自己一天半的假，虽然有一星期的假期，可是却没有时间休息。
六个女生晚上驾车到了Morib Gold Coast去玩，很开心。
而且真的很难得姐妹们都得空，我们四个都没有一起去过假期！惭愧。
最近真的有点不开心，所以一天半的离家出走真的很珍惜，可以暂时让我把不想想的都放一边去。
而且住得很舒服，很棒。
加上这六个女生有一点颠（真的只有一点啦 :P)，不开心才怪咯。

My dearest sisterssss!! <3

只是回来后短短的几个小时好像很多事情，有点不顺利，结果又很绷紧的回到家去了。

虽然故事告诉我们逃避是没有用的，回来还是会面对很多很多，可是至少我知道我还有机会可以轻松一下。

p/s: Appreciate the call from the bf the second i reached my house after speeding back home (stupid jam). He made sure I entered my house and locked all my doors before hanging up the phone. He stayed awake only to wait for me to get home . Felt really warm, wanted to hug him like a big bear at the stressful moment. Love the bf.

Rawr!

HOW?

2011-09-29T15:35:00.001+08:00

好像事实上也没有很多选择了。
也很像就只有HOW这个字一直在飘来飘去。
空白的纸我也只会画出很大的那三个字母,后面还加上了很大的问号。
H - Hell or Happy? Hardwork?
O - Open? On or Off?
W - Wish, Where? When?....... Well, a big question mark is followed with.
?

困扰中。
始终也只有我知道。

明天的记忆 - 孙燕姿

2011-09-27T15:27:00.004+08:00

在我最深处有过你祝福

有花瓣的飞舞泪水的凝固

轻抚一路上成长的纹路

~在默读那些爱的仓促

犹豫的脚步坚持的酸楚

可是我很清楚别在乎付出

轻抚内心最柔软的感触

~回忆的泥土让生命有厚度

让明天把今天给记住不是因为孤独

因为我们追求的专注不管它起起伏伏

让今天把明天变特殊未必因为幸福

因为我们努力不服输从来不曾退出

回头不可恕被误解的路

现在我弄清楚那让我成熟

轻抚内心最柔软的感触

~长成的大树让生命有高度

让明天把今天给记住不是因为孤独

因为我们追求的专注不管它起起伏伏

让今天把明天变特殊未必因为幸福

因为我们努力不服输尽管失误

让明天的记忆不模糊不是因为孤独

因为我们执着的态度不管它起起伏伏

让今天把明天变特殊未必因为满足

因为我们过得不含糊从来不曾退出

2011-09-25T22:17:00.001+08:00

"stop complaining, you are using the poorest dslr lens on earth.. wad u expect??"

I know right : (
so Im gonna try to stop shaking my head when i see those photos taken by me on the pc screen.

Im gonna bear with it.

How you don't know.

2011-09-23T10:50:00.000+08:00

You don't know how how much I wana go out reaching out to the sun and blue sky. or the sea.
And random photo shooting.

You don't know how I don't enjoy being trapped in the concrete four walls, darkness, narrowness and breathless.

Take me away.

2011-09-20T01:21:00.000+08:00

When can I really grow up?
21 is not far away from me.
More reality to face by then and I haven have much time to learn to face them.

When can I handle all these stress well?
A lot a lot of things running inside my mind.
I need to grow up.
I.just.wana.be.happier.

im weaaaaak.

2011-09-11T01:23:00.002+08:00

I'm sick againnn. Yes, like after the allergy not long ago, which has just recovered completely recently.
I'm now having soar throat, flu and cough, slight fever sometimes. sickening. thanks to the haze too -.-
And Im having so many tests and assignments to work on.
I am super duper blur and just do whatever I can do. And just ignore anything else that bothers me.
@______@
Cousin bro used some health scan program to scan our health condition, and mine is like among the worst few. Sigh. Worry.

Thanks the bf driver who'd fetched me to school for most days :)
He always goes like, know what, tmr 9am you walk out frm your house and you'll see your driver there.
Appreciate much ♥
especially when its tired to drive when u're sick.
and then I cannot eat so many things cuz of soar throat and cough.
he only allows me to eat some kueh teau soup plus hot barley.
and i could only look at him eating some nice nasi lemak and cendol :(
I know its for my own good :)
Pampered.

Yunyeee, gogo studyyyyy! gah.

When at those busy times you're bored.

2011-09-07T21:36:00.002+08:00

bleuh too free ah? I know right.

Archieves.

2011-09-07T13:25:00.000+08:00

You know I still blog actually because I actually get to type things out.
Looking back at the posts I'd posted since 2008, I feel so silly of me, was so childish of me the last time. It was in a way more 'commercial' the last time, when I took many photos and posted all of them, and that I actually described all the details of things happened, so patiently (feeling geng).

There is good and bad. Good as in you can look back things, and how much you have actually grew up and changed, and those memories that I miss, you know sometimes, our mind really don't remember so much. Bad is sometimes, the changes aren't positive all the time, how you wish you could go back to some worry-less times, and life of less realistic back then. All these actually make me recall of so much. Peoples that passed by, and those who are staying around.

Its a record. Its more of a diary to me. I actually don't need anyone to read them :p Its personal expression. But sometimes, sharing is caring : )

Really, sometimes you can just look back at those posts you posted. Cuz at times, you were very motivated in life, and if you recorded them down, and it helps injecting positive energy.
Sometimes, you were in a good mood, you wrote down things you wana do, or feelings you feel that time. And we humans are so not reliable, we forget those things and feelings in split seconds.

I know we have to move forward. But life without histories and past memories are pathetic.

Run. Ran. Running.

2011-09-04T01:39:00.003+08:00

When I hope its all about school.
It's better despite the usual school-related stress.

Aw, how I miss going out. and photography. :(

2011-09-01T21:51:00.001+08:00

Would you rather regret on what you have done, than what you have not tried doing?

Sometimes it takes time, for us to realise something, and to regret on a lot of things.
And when you are starting to realise it, all you know is, you do not have much time, to actually do them.

Sometimes we would just want time to pass fast, and sometimes we hope we have more of it.

I wana know that life is beautiful. I am still, trying hard, to agree with this.

R.I.P.

2011-09-01T00:09:00.003+08:00

May Aunt Connie R.I.P., with love.

The funeral has over. It's fast, only for 2 days to be exact.
They said she chose a great time, where most of the relatives were able to attend her funeral due to the public holidays, and it was already the 1st day of August in the chinese calender, right passed the month of july :)
She had left us at last. After struggling long with cancer for years. Cervical cancer.
She'd been positive as we seen her, outside. And she was definitely tough.
She's really one of the kindest person I'd know. and everyone loves her, we really do.
And the fact that she had been staying with us under the same roof for years, we will miss her, especially mummy, who has always been her close hang out person :(
However, it was definitely a release for her from all her suffers.

Im sad, but its not nice to show it out. They always want us to send the deceased away with minimal sorrow.
Thanks for the shoulder after.

p/s: At the same time, I'm a lil dissapointed.
People, sometimes, i really need your consideration.
Im NOT in a good mood to mess with, so please do not expect me to please you like what I usually do. If you are my friends, please do really understand my situation! :(

Mean it.

2011-08-28T03:17:00.005+08:00

I know I have to actually sleep now? No I don't know.
I know I should have continue to crap on the assignment :(
I really wana just finish it like zzzoomm. and hand up. end.
week 6 is coming. marking the middle of the semester already. unbelieeeevable.
and. I started coffee only in week 5. but as usual, it didnt work well anymore, compared to the last time, it makes me feel sleepy even more, eh like seriously :(

About the ~~stress~~ realistic part. Helpless as usual.
So many, stuffs. So many things that I wana do.
and, i realise, in order to do them, there is maybe, only one thing to do, at least.
and i hate this part, cuz this seems like the most crucial part of the everything after, and it needs a lot of sacrifices, plannings, evaluations, considerations, courages, and.... strategies i suppposed.
the best part is, no one can ever help, or there isn't even a way to help.
I hate decisions.

现实是残酷的。
Realistically, we need to be realistic. Can I please please grow up a bit faster.
gah.

Appreciate that I could actually still get to experience that minimal level of relaxation through the ear, sad is when things have changed, and I couldn't at least temporarily leave ALL those changes aside for even some very short time. OR I hope it was because I was too tired.
Still, hope to get the piano fixed. (It's been years, yeshh, i mean years, not exaggerating hello.)

Pathetic reality.
Gain gain my EQ fast. please! Adaptation needed.

Happy Birthday Babe! Loves!

----
btw, went and visited aunt in the hospital. like, life is really sad sometimes, when we're to face these. 生老病死。
So, 我应该用什么心态去面对 I don't know.

(update: Adults, what are you trying to hide? I'm big enough to actually try to understand and learn to accept, so you could actually just, let.me.know.)
so dad actually went out just now for visit again, alone. and curiously enough, he is not elaborating further and I know I shouldn't ask further then. fine.

洪卓立鍾舒漫 - 傻瓜

2011-08-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

洪：要不是突然看到你眼睛會说话　也許不會對你装傻鍾：所以我決定收下　你的花　相信你　說的每句話洪：是你讓我的心跳每秒鐘快幾下　突然想吻你的面頰鍾：所以我閉上雙眼　幻想著　期待那些浪漫佳話　花前月下洪：你也在想我嗎鍾：你和我一樣嗎洪：如果愛真的來臨合：我們會牽手迎接嗎洪：我是傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙鍾：想到未來還是有點害怕洪：我會陪在你身邊　每個今天鍾：可是明天你會不會愛上新的她洪：我是傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙鍾：未知的路　我們是否　要一起出發合：海角天涯　一直到青春變成白髮鍾：我只希望你　洪：只希望你合：叫我傻瓜洪：我是傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙鍾：想到未來還是有點害怕洪：我會送你一個家　也許不大鍾：但是足夠把我們的　夢想都裝下洪：大傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙鍾：未知的路　我們是否　要一起出發合：海角天涯　一直到青春變成白髮鍾：我只希望你　洪：只希望你合：叫我傻瓜合：原來一世聰明　為你變傻

shoo bad day!

2011-08-23T21:26:00.001+08:00

bleh. I had a bad day. Shoo bad day away!
Felt so physically weak today that I almost fainted.
Bless me :(

oh btw some random prnt scrn of my desktop.
heee just feel its nice. yea self-praised :P
that was taiwan. arnd 10 mins b4 accident ahha.

Grow up!

2011-08-17T01:06:00.004+08:00

Had been very lazy for updates lately hehe, not only for updates, basically for everything, so not motivated, but I guess Im catching up soon (hopefully ",)

I really wished I could maybe post about my Taiwan trip. But cuz its a bit the long, and I don't think I have the time to recall the whatever and ever over there (or if I'd already forgotten almost half of the details), so will see. Purpose is to lemme recall our good times there, and I do not wana forget the details, so I could actually review them anytime when I forgot about them. Well, still, will see how.

Accompanied the family for some day trips weeks ago. It was so long ago our last time sparing out our time to go for day trip with the family, so we decided to space out a day or two for them. I know they would be really happy if we were able to make it, even just for a day. Will maybe post some photos the next time. I am becoming more and more lazy when comes to posting up photos here. Cuz usually it would be slow due to big file size. and Im so lazy to resize it. And I would always wanted to do some slight photo edition at least, in terms of the brightness as I couldn't accept dark photos at all, really!

Three weeks. Lotsa happenings. Happy, sweet, down, smiles, tears, hugs, and my inactivity. Its growing up time. and I need to be more awake now. Things are unpredictable. Experienced the super depressed moments like never before, glad its over, temporarily, really appreciate, and i will treasure it more.
Learning to deal with my emotions, to control them. Learning to manage things, planning, thinking. Learning to be more matured, to love myself more, to self-enhance (a lot), and to talk (much more). and many more.
We will work it out together, and together we will grow up :)

Jia You! :)

p/s: ♥

year 3!

2011-07-27T01:59:00.000+08:00

Yeah, starting from tomorrow, I will be a year 3 student already!
Hm, I don't look like one.

And Im so so so not prepared for school. I have no any single feeling towards the school, except that the fees are so so expensive and I, feel, so, not, worth, it. -.-

Have got to start the looking for 2nd hand books to buy process, print out lecture slides, selling books, and start marking down dates, and many many thingss to be done, oh and, study?

glad I survived my last semester so this sem won't be a problem! I believed so! Really glad I made it through :)

So hello year 3!

2011-07-23T01:37:00.003+08:00

I didn't know I am so weak, really.
And Im not liking this.

Home.

2011-07-13T12:29:00.004+08:00

Im back.
Yeah, 17 days of escape, of much adventures.
It would be a damn good one IF the bad incidents did not happen.
But well, honey is so positive that she thinks this way's much more like 自助旅行。(free and easy vacation)
But really, things happen with impactful impact brought back home.

We fall off from the electric bike ( they call it 电动机车) and we were injured, and were fined Rm360. and thats how exactly i got broke. Do you know Rm300, how many more clothes and masks and all i can shop in Taiwan :(
And baby camera got some slight scratches on the body, and some more serious one on the lens filter and the lens cap flew to somewhere far on the road when we fall. Lucky its not serious, we were surprised.
But honey's lost is even more. Sigh. This is seriously bad and we both were damn moodless the few days after. Her tidy teeth after taking out the braces 3 weeks ago were badly ruined now :(
BUT this is not the end. She lost her Coach pouch with handphone and Ipod touch in Taipei which we got no idea how and where she lost it. It was damn sad.

And photos weren't as nice as I viewed them from the camera.
But, I think Taiwan is some places I would like to visit again. Kinda like that place. And used to the everything there. and I wana go there for shopping the next time cause we didnt shop much this time! Mum was like, so these are all you bought? -.-

And now back home, I realised there is so much to do. Really. I am so not motivated larh. I need to catch up to be back on track. So MUCH TO DO. sigh

oh results are not good, as usual, but expected? like I know what I did during the sem and the preparations were all so last minutes. and when passing all is all i wished before this, the result didnt affect my trip.

The vacation is not really a relaxing one. Not a rest. So can I have a rest for a day before I need to catch up with all the stuffssssssss??! Horrr.

Teaser:

垦丁(Ken Ding)
Few hours before the accident.

This is my first free and easy oversea vacation w/o the family, and travelling is really great, and I will definitely visit more other countries in near future :D

The satisfaction of self-sponsored trip with very own baby cammie, awesomeness :)

2011-06-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

I'd been waiting for this escape for so damn long.
and finally a day more.
Will miss people here, especially those who actually misses me hehe.
Nah i know its only a 16 days.
Be right back :)

f1.8 omg!

This is life.

2011-06-17T12:00:00.002+08:00

The life is filled. very. its packed.
My worries before year 20 has pushed me, or in a positive way we say motivate me, to such a life of mine now.
Year 20 to 30 is a short 10 years. so short that I would easily forgot I am already 21 now. I believed whatever tough period I'm going through now will somehow benefit me, will earn me lessons for some near future.
At the same time, trying to please everyone around me. It is never easy. Sometimes you will think are all these worth anything at all? Sometimes you just don't care how all these will turn out to be, as long as they are happy.

So so realistic, but this is life.
Yes its a process of growing up, 20 years old, its the time we NEED to learn ourselves in order to grow up, not anymore the time like we're brought up.
We will need to try to enjoy this process as much as we could, and we're awesome if we do, and it is normal if we don't?

I asked, we're 20, need so stress anot?
friend said, no choice lor, have to grow up ma. :)

Yeah, guess we'll need some neautralisation sometimes.
Wana go to some high hills where we can look down to the city, to have the feeling of conquering all these without fear, to restructure our dreams, to have the courage to reach out, to achieve them.

-

Anyway, i hope my coming escape will be a good one. *fingers cross*
Cause the plan sounds like its gonna be a real exploring taiwan trip.
Oh yeah, at least they sound like plans, i know we need them hehe.

Gathered with dearest sisters. Awesomeness. We love each other, very much.
And we're planning for few-days trip after our return of our 16 days trip? :D
oh em gee. I wish i have timee. and more *ka-chingg*, for trips.

Some photos of the best friends' bday dinner :-
photo courtesy of honey!
She.got.a.d3100.for.her.21.bday! omg right! :D
my Barley got a best friend now? whee.
I thought the two girls will be exploring taiwan with their dslrs now but she might not bring hers along.
and and d3100 is so so much lighterr than Barley ok :D

the sisters forever!

small small presents for them, prepared by me!

Sometimes i think i can really make nice cards hahah ;p

The BFFLs! Love.

I said i make good cards right xD
but so many i made this year,
all look almost the same? heheee.

my cutest cky :D

honey writing wishes for jing
we all really hope to see her change :)

When there is only 24 and 7.

2011-06-12T23:41:00.001+08:00

Im left with one paper. And i thought i have like a 2 weeks time to study?
Not at all. Time is still so insufficient for me. Everyday is so damn full with things to be done, a fully scheduled 2 weeks. Really a damn damn pack 2 weeks.
SO SO many promised meeting ups, really, never have this.. much.
Everything before exams, I'd postponed to this 2 weeks, everything after my last paper, brought forward to this 2 weeks, cuz will officially be away after exams.

Wana utilise fully my time during the taiwan trip, to relax, to see as many things as i could, to take as many photos as i can, and most of all, to escape from a highly contented sophisticated world I am in now. Maybe to take the time, away from all these ~~nonsense,~~ to really think seriously about, my life and the everything.

Went through the downs that no one really understood. The small matters that can get me let out so much of the water in me. Peoples who never give up on me, are loves.

Sorry I'd played in my mind to give some best birthdays to some best friends. I guess I fail. Im never as good as cool as my fellow friends who always do those wonderful things for me.

Yune, who are you really?

I have nothing else to say.

2011-06-09T20:41:00.001+08:00

Only Sorry :(

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry i am really very very very sorry.
I feel bad, very bad.
I shouldn't be there at all in the first place.
Nothing can be done now i know but there will never ever be a next time anymore.

Ah what have i done?! ='((((

2011-06-07T14:59:00.003+08:00

其实我知道自己很糟糕。
我知道自从上了college之后，就没有再把成绩保持好了。
因为再也没有三姑六婆会在成绩放榜的那天打电话来问你多少个A？我不懂。我也don't seem to care, 只要能够对父母有交待就可以了吧。（所以成绩很差）
只是，我也不应该那么糟糕。我，第一次，在半天内，把整个sem的重要内容草草的读完，然后去考试。
幸运的是，考完试没有想要哭的感觉，可能麻木了，没有感觉了。
我以为这三天会很很难熬，换作是上一个sem的我，不知道自己躲起来哭了几次，也会不停的在埋怨自己多么的stress。
这个学期，是这两年来负担过最重的四个科目，也许我真的没有时间去想自己的状况了吧。
昨天晚上累得辛苦，决定要休息的时候睡不着，以前时常这样，可是很久都没有经历了。我发现当生活越来越难挨，是会慢慢的习惯的，我不懂，是好是不好。

只是昨天睡不着的时候，突然真的又有一股冲动，想在去台湾之前一把地把头发剪得短短的，我想，如果我不趁现在年轻又没有很重的束缚的时候做这些想做的，做有一点点疯狂的事，那么我们要等几时啊？虽然还真的很多人叫我三思，（我明白他们想说短头发不好看！哈）可是觉得说有着还是单身的自由，最享受就是不需要向任何人交待。=)
唯一要交待的就是工作那边啦~ -.-"

祝明天考试顺利！
感谢很多朋友们在考试前后的祝福，意外的感动！

gah.

2011-05-26T11:30:00.002+08:00

I know exam's super near already!
and for me, everyone is worrying for me, really.
(except some cousin frm somewhere far -.-)
People just remember bout my exam schedule
and friends started to count for me, allocate my time for my revision, so cute :)
argh. pek cek!

anyway, rushing assignment still, but wana share some mobile photos lol.
some are real long ago.

spot our similarities. more alike if her ipod's here. hee
This was during our last sleepover at honey's place.

the bed, it became my table eventually, since sis changed room ;p

the sky on some day

Some revision session in mcD written by someone gou liao. spot red bull -.-

"You're amazing, just the way you are" T-shirt!
received the postage frm singapore.
Its a consolation prize for some Bruno Mars contest.
Kinda cool t-shirt!

sigh I know right. Daddy nagged for few times, and gave up.

Lastly, not from my mobile. Deary honey and me.
Looking fwd to taiwan with her!
and i miss kher :)

I can do it! da da da.

2011-05-22T14:25:00.001+08:00

It's been so long since my last update.
So many things i would like to share. Not now though.
Cuz Im so tensed up for exam now, with 2 assignments this week.
I have no idea how could i pass all my units this time. I studied so little.

Dad wants me to go Aus. I'd been feeling so guilty. Why didn't i work harder to get some scholarship, or did i even tried hard to apply them, no i didn't. Why can't i go for exchange. Why do i ever let daddy worry for me, always. I do not want them to spend anymore cents on my studies anymore. I'm afraid that they would be more disappointed the next time. They really should save these money for more travels at their age.

Even though they tag along the happiness whenever i said im going for vacation and all, but I feel guilty too when I'm not going with them. and that I'm so young, earning barely enough for travelling, but I am going here and there, again not with them. I'd been so selfish, thinking not to waste my youth. I earned my own camera yes, and no regrets, but it might seem to them another impulsive spending of an immature teenager. Guilt guilt.

I will fix this very soon. I swear.

Conclusion, I'm broke. So little income. And still, spending so much. This is how spoil a kid can be. Wake up and grow up!

T__T
Anyway, Taiwan trip is so near i couldn't feel it. If everything goes as planned (we don't even have a plan), 16 days away from everything here, I have a feeling of strong reluctancy of returning.

Booked Phuket flight tix, with monashions, year end.
Good luck to me.

记得 - JJ

2011-05-22T13:04:00.003+08:00

谁还记得是谁先说　永远的爱我　
以前的一句话是我们　以后的伤口
过了太久没人记得　当初那些温柔　
我和你手牵手说要一起　走到最后

我们都忘了　这条路走了多久　
心中是清楚的　有一天　有一天都会停的
让时间说真话　虽然我也害怕　
在天黑了以后　我们都不知道　会不会有以后

我们都累了　却没办法往回走　
两颗心都迷惑　怎么说　怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么　也许你也不懂　
两个相爱的人　等着对方先说　想分开的理由

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候　
我和你的眼中看见了　不同的天空
走得太远终于走到　分岔路的路口　
是不是你和我　要有两个　相反的梦

Fwd: 二十岁

2011-05-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

二十岁，一个尴尬的年龄

一个一无所有却自命清高的年龄。

当我们吃父母的、喝父母的、花父母的血汗时，却还在为自己所谓的面子大摆宴席、招朋待友，为哥们的生日礼物不惜重金，为取悦男（女）朋友挖空心思的为此掏空腰包，想想，都花了二十年了，有自己赚的钱吗？

二十岁，你有什么？

青春？终究会成为回忆。

知识？太浅薄了。

美貌？换来的更多的是虚伪的感情与利益。

时间？这样想的人差不多都在挥霍时间。

爱情？那是一辈子的事，现在拥有的真实吗。

除了父母给的，还有什么值得我们去骄傲、炫耀？

在别人面前我们什么都不是，这很现实。

不要以为自己有多么了不起，在社会中，你连棵草都不是。

清高，抵得上一份工作吗？能让你吃好、喝好、住好吗？

不要以为端盘子洗碗、站超市、打扫卫生天生就不是你干的事，不要以为你天生就是拯救世界的料儿，日子是过出来的，不是想出来的。

二十岁了，该现实点了，放下清高的架子，折断幻想的翅膀，才会走的更精彩

二十岁，一个充满理想却过于富于幻想的年龄。

成功是经历了比别人更多的努力、付出、毅力、痛苦与艰辛后得到的，不是能幻想出来的。

即使天上有掉陷饼的事也不会砸到整天幻想的人

二十岁，一个涉世不深却自谓看透一切的年龄。

我们常常讽刺社会的肮脏、丑陋、腐败，自以为很纯洁，就浅薄的说出活在这样的世界很无奈的话。

热爱生命，不要只是处在大学的象塔中才说出这样的话，在当我们经历了社会的各种不纯洁时也要能说出这样的话。

二十岁，在大学中你看到的连社会中的一个角都抵不上。要想真正的看透人生，等你闭眼的那一刻才是看透了，好好活着才有看破红尘的一天。

二十岁，一个美好却又短暂的年龄。

这个时期是你精力最充沛、心灵最美好的季节，不要把它浪费在赚人眼泪的偶像剧中，你永远不会成为其中的女主角，不要梦想着一见钟情的遇到你的白马王子，这样的可能性比地球明天就灭亡的可能性还小。

有时间背起行囊出去走走吧，二十岁你看到的一切绝对和你以后在公司筹划的旅游中看到的不一样，看看外面的世界，别只是装到相册中，要装进心里。

多把眼球从电脑上挪开点，外面的世界更精彩，亲眼看到和在网上浏览是两码事。

“宅人”的生活会让人丧失生存的价值，趁现在多出去看看，好给以后老了走不动了留下回忆的东西呀。

二十岁，一个简单却又复杂的年龄。

不要过多的纠缠于过去的事，记住，真正的忘记不需要刻意。

无论是多么难以忘记的感情，不属于你了就不要使劲去强掰回来，强扭的瓜不甜，真理。

二十岁，不一定活的精彩，但千万要活的有自尊。尊严不值得为单纯的感情买单！

到了二十岁，就要找到除了爱情能使你双脚坚强的站立在这个大地上的东西！

二十岁，一个长大却没成熟的年龄。

这个时间，除了父母，没人认为你还只是一个孩子，没人会迁就你的错误，学会承担一切，你会发现那比一味的逃避强的多！

二十岁，需要用心去成长！

Could I carry on.

2011-05-09T09:22:00.002+08:00

me and barley.

Barely have time for baby barley, really. Haven bring it out for fresh air at new places for quite some time already. :(
Hence to make him feel not abandoned, could only use it for... camwhoring muaha. Good excuse rite.

Anyway. Life's been so busy. And that this few months could be one of my toughest time throughout my 20 years and 5 months of living, really. Been through ups and downs so so so frequently, daily basis? And I 'happen' to be still standing. and learnt.

Its probably still early to say that I CAN survive this through though. But we should always hold positive hope, with hope holds that the law of attraction works? sigh.

So many things, until i don't remember things that I should have done. Today's my library books due. and i'd been reminding myself to bring it today to school. But i only remember it when i saw the books throw box just now. And worse on saturday, a whole full day, I went out far to puchong alone, without my purse. Luckily i pumped the car's petrol a day before, and that the smart tag is there or I don't know what to do already. And also many events, appointments, commitment dates, birthdays and ALL. to be noted.

Life's been pretty tough for me. or us. But I still believe that what I am doing now are all for carrying out my responsibility for the social well-being of the nation, of us as an educated person.

Oh Monday!
and tomorrow has got two presentations! and a test. oh well, Im yet to START preparing for all. Luck :)

and life goes on....

2011-05-01T12:54:00.002+08:00

...w/o u

Mid-sem 'break' comes to an end. yea one more pub hol which really doesn't make much diff for me cuz i do not have school usually on mon, but i have to still go subang for assignment discussion. grr.

yeah, apparently i have a week of 'break', without lectures and tutorials. but I'd been going to school for three days this week, and another 2 days in Taylors lakeside. All for assignments, dont even have time for any revision. and im so freak out now, that exam's super near, and my timetable wont allow me to have time to do revision in btwn. sigh im stressed.

and besides school stuffs, been facing problems also. I really really don't like to involve myself in sophisticated things like this u know. annoying. but my mind can't stop thinking. and im sad of whatever is happening. that is why i am trying so hard to put these aside. but sometimes, its not like everything can be controlled by me or even my mind. hmph.

but had some good mood ytd, even though those mentioned above exists. not much progress on assignment though. evening went out for movie and dinner. like finally in the 'break' i have an official outing. sad right. :D

msn blocked my window live account. cannot access to msn, can receive email luckily but not sending out. life without msn is, nothing much diff. but still, it matters.
so i have to use an abandoned email now: yune.yy@gmail.com

till then.

p/s: 矜持累了，不想再等，我也会转头就走，或许别的方向，会有彩虹；You don't see how fragile it is, of whatever is in between, but... it is. It's easily broken, and.. substitutable.

its so near im gonna die!

2011-04-25T09:08:00.000+08:00

Im not at all feeling that im actually schooling, like you know, im so left out omg.
and now i realised i should really really catch up or i'll die.
Exam timetable is out and it sucks!
Having exam on the 1st exam day, 2nd and 3rd too! all three days in a row, all threee days at 8.30AM?!
=( and after that they gimme 2 weeks for the last paper wth!
and its so near, that i can rly remember the dates already.
cuz my schedule's kinda full, that i can remember the dates for the following weeks due to some activities or events thingy, including assignments, tests, trainings all.
omg omg im vry nervous now lah.

btw, its mid-sem break, and i have to go back to school for like 4 days! =.=
i usually go to school for three days only? go to school even more on mid-sem break what is this lah? doesn't make sense at all okay. but its for assignment, when its done earlier, I'll be a happy girl! :) luck :(

so Im in school now, since 7.30am just now.. ..
did ntg but fb hehe. opps. and im not prepared at all for discussion later? ;p

btw, i hope the taiwan trip can be continued, like seriously. Im really really serious. Anyone interested to go, i mean, as back up, in case... friend can't make it? or something. I don't know am i immature or what, the earthquake news is not making me scared. I still wana go.

Pray hard! for every everything.

11th hour.

2011-04-21T01:35:00.000+08:00

Have to study!

One thing i realised i should really really put effort in changing you know.
LAST MINUTE.

like all my submissions, assignments, and presentations, i always hand in, or prepare at the eleventh hour. like 90% of them. seriously. this is so so bad.
and also the same to my curfew hehe. like 3 days out of 7 days. i will be speeding back home just to reach the gate before the clock strikes 12am. sometimes I even exceeded 12 a little. I need to really change this too, cuz parents are getting real worried.

hm, so I watched Source Code. and to mun and cher, i don't really und the final part also! me n friend kinda tried figuring out, but still.... not vry convincing hah.
kinda spot some similarities between some movies i watched previously, Source Code and The Adjustment Bureau and Unknown. At least i feel, all three movies kinda involve some losing memories thingy, right right?

Till then :)

p/s: missing my dear ipod ;)

cuppu-milo.

2011-04-20T08:54:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna record this down.
I'd been waking up positive for the 2nd day in a row.
with both days submission NOT done, still struggling with it = =
with no production both academically and the pt.
I think its the cuppucino milo I made myself this 2 days.
I don't feel good after drinking though, but it successfully make me awake?
(bleuk, feel even worse now, too strong the caffeine...)

I don't care im gonna :) 1st before whatever's gonna happen today.

Try looking further.

2011-04-19T19:07:00.001+08:00

17/04/2011
Sagittarius: The focus is firmly fixed on finances right now, giving you every opportunity to increase your income. Start saving any extra cash now and you'll soon have plenty for a rainy day. Jobs connected with finances or the media should do particularly well. Ditto for those linked with health care.
_____

Maybe we should try looking further. How often do we look far into the sky during the jam, instead of trying to keep the shortest distance with the car in front, instead of looking at how far away the queue leads to. In the city at night, how often do you look at the furthest light that lights up the city, instead of speeding all the way, or trapped with the realistic thoughts. Try staring at the furthest end of the sea standing by the beach, you wouldn't know how big the world is if you don't. Why do i like travelling, it makes me feel how tiny am i to the world, how many more things and people out there, and its not gonna be the end. :)

Dare to explore a world that is bigger than you know. There are a lot of reasons to not do something or not feel something. Those boundaries and walls are put up by ourselves. Once we’re able to step outside of them, we can truly realize the endless possibilities the world has to offer.

-WongFu Productions

Weak.

2011-04-15T16:56:00.001+08:00

Why do i feel weaker and weaker by days, a little of stress and difficulties could make me so so down.

Like best friend said, we should really learn how to overcome all these, as in learn how to not feel so, learning how to deal with all these emotional threats that make us weak, then only we grow. We need to boost our EQ especially, which i think im really really low in it. Just checked my monash mail and realized i missed a talk on boosting EQ, and these are the details they included in the email:

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) helps you build strong relationships, succeed
at work, and achieve your goals. EQ is about being "heart smart", not
just "book smart". Evidence shows that EQ matters just as much as
intellectual ability (IQ), if not more so, when it comes to happiness and
success in life. EQ can be developed throughout life.

You can boost your EQ by learning how to reduce stress, connect to your
emotions, communicate nonverbally, use humor and play to deal with
challenges, and defuse conflicts with confidence and self-assurance.

I was again so down just now due to overslept. Now i really know how it feels to be in that situation. but what is missed is missed, especially when its friday already, there will be no more replacement at all, and it was my most important tutorial of ALL my other classes. really FML. and so when im facing all these, i would again think of ALL the problems, uncertainties, works undone, and work i should've done but not, and everything all together. haih. like again.

but im better now, just need to solve one by one, i think.

Sorry for dissapointing some people, seriously. I feel bad being so weak, and useless, and immature.
but thanks to some people who really try to make me feel better, especially the two best friends, i know we are all undergoing some really stressful time, with all of our diff things we're facing. i'd been counting on you guys so so much, really. sorry i couldnt help u guys much now, i hope one day you all could count on me too. and thank you. like always be with me.
p/s: i really do hate crying but i can't help.

I think im relying on them too much, thats why i wana boost my EQ, to like deal with things myself, in case of their absence..

LUCK FOR ALL.

Strangers, again.

2011-04-14T15:21:00.002+08:00

You and I began as strangers...

You became my life...

& We will become...

Strangers, again.

2011-04-13T08:28:00.004+08:00

at least I'm feeling HELL tired,

not the sign of dying (yet) i guess?

I'm mean.

2011-04-11T15:41:00.003+08:00

那么多的想法左右着，那么多的想逃避，多么的想平静，却又多么的想做些什么，拥有些什么。
乱。
不想再揣测你每天不定的心情、再多想你在不在乎、再去包容你无所谓的态度、再犹豫是否该把你的话听进心里、再去思考你是谁, 反反复复的很累。就算了吧。
如果我们每次因为思考关于这些问题，而搞得大家那么的不快乐，我想没有意思吧？
原来朋友是真的很重要的，发自内心的鼓励，真的比什么都感动，没有想过大家不是深交的朋友，也没有认识了三五九年，却那么的有义气，这么的肯定我，我自认我从来不曾像你们那么伟大。谢谢！
也对于在一旁判断她的人，她无所谓。

Chris Medina - What Are Words

2011-04-07T13:30:00.003+08:00

Meaningful, touching song. =')

p/s: I know how sincere those words were spoken, cuz I know you. =)

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close...

____________________________

Please, TALK!

2011-04-06T00:44:00.004+08:00

I know women loves talking. but why am I not??
I just don't like to talk and this is very annoying! I used to think that whats the matter of not talking and i realize its a big issue for me now. I started to envy of people, especially girls who can really talk and talk non-stop (not all the aunties shouting out with a very high frequency and magnitude, i.e. loud and high pitch, especially in a closed area, with everyone intended to have their voice heard over the others.... just experienced it hee ><).
Im the kind, who could only talk more when someone else talks too. and of course, of the same channel.
I NEED to learn how to talk more, and talk well.

Today i had presentation. Didn't prepare much for it as usual, and im not those kind who would actually reherse or memorise points for presentation. I know i wouldn't perform very badly even though im not the presenting kind. But still, i heard my own voice at some point of time while im presenting, its super not smooth and i feel its so uncomfortable hearing it. Um.. um.. err.. err.. not as bad as you imagined it, cuz the um um ah ah are short but frequent. Its just the habit of me talking! =( argh people, talk to me so i could improve, in my english speaking!
btw, we happened to get to see our marks and i got like the highest presenting marks amongst my group members? hee. and our score are kinda not bad :)

p/s: I wish i could own a white bakery or tea house or cafe in the near future. I should have take up culinary instead of business right, or maybe just learn some awesome baking or cooking, so i could come out with or... modify my own desserts or cakes or beverages, cheesey mashed potatoes or something near and all according to my preferences and fav :) or even interior designing helps, i want a dreamy white interior, exposed to the sunlight with emphasis on great ambience. but now, i have to rely on others if i were to own one. But seriously, this is a little dream of mine. ♥

Poco - Bangsar

Make It Mutual - Olivia Ong

2011-04-04T17:39:00.002+08:00

A quiet moment making my footprints on the sand.
A sweet feeling comes surrounding me.
It's delirious.
Now that's a sugar rush.
My heart is beating oh so fast,
And I dun wanna fall too deep but I want to make it last

There's no need to rush.
We can take our time. Let it go the natural way.
We begin as friends?
And who knows what ?
Where this could be taking me

In this nice cool breeze.
Yes I am all at ease.
When I gush.
And this sweet feeling comes to me.
Can't deny, can't lie, can't really face the truth.
And I wonder if you're feeling the same way too

You know what I would like?
I'd like to get to know you more.
Make that mutual.
Boy, you know you wanna know me too

This is how you make me feel.
When you're here, I feel your vibe,
And I hope I don't fall into deep too fast

You're not the type,
Who'll rush into things.
And let it slip away. Yeah,
I like your type.
Caught up in this ride.
It's kinda silly but I'll say

In this nice cool breeze,
Yes I am all at ease.
When I gush.
And this sweet feeling comes to me.
Can't deny, can't lie, can't really face the truth.
And I wonder if you're feeling the same way too

Escaped.

2011-04-02T19:16:00.001+08:00

Even though its less than a day, but i escaped from the house :)
to somewhere nearby but its more than enough you see, especially during this super busy peak period.

Slept over at honey's place with jing ytd, kher went back hometown =\
i brought works but obviously its not the time for them there heee.
today we woke up and made pancake. it took us the whole morning, and only we could take it for lunch keke. but there's satisfaction :)
downloaded instagram for honey's ipod so we took some photos.

i love salads sooo much :)

my laptop has got problem! and i need time to call dell. sigh sigh. overheated??

had been skyping a lot recently. but ytd i tried skyping using the ipod for the 1st time, and its awesome! it was pretty relaxing when i get to listen to live piano on skype, sitting outside my house, waiting for honey to fetch me, and it was very windy i almost fall asleep :) nice ritee.

till then. lotsa work still.

Re-post

2011-03-29T00:25:00.001+08:00

Try reading this :)

假设你的月收入只有2000元，你也可以过得很好。我帮你把钱分成五份。第一份600元，第二份400元，第三份300元，第四份200元，第五份500元。 第一份，用来做生活费。这么少的生活费，每天只能够分到十几元。早餐一份煮米丝，一个鸡蛋，一杯豆浆。中餐一份快餐，一个水果。晚餐自己开个小灶，煮点饭，加俩菜，睡前一杯奶。这样一月的伙食大概是500-600。不过，如果你还年轻，身体暂时还没有太多问题，这样的食谱，够你数年内不会有健康问题。 第二份，用来交朋友，扩大你的人际圈。这就宽裕了。你的电话费可以用掉100元。每个月可以请客两次，每次150元。请谁呢？记住，请比你有思想的人，比你更有钱的人，和你需要感激的人。 每个月，坚持请客，一年下来，你的朋友圈应该已经为你产生价值了，你的声望、影响力、附加价值正在提升，形象又好，又大方。 第三份，用来学习。每个月可以有50元—100元用来买书。钱不多，买的书就要认真阅读，学会学了就用的精神。每一本书，看完后，就把它变成自己的语言讲给别人听，与人分享可以提高你的信誉度，并且，提升亲和力。另外的200元存起来，每一年参加一次培训。从不间断。等收入高一些了，或者有额外的积蓄，就参加更高级的培训。参加好的培训，既可以免费结交志同道合的朋友，又可以学习平时难以领悟的道理。 第四份，用于旅游，一年奖励自己旅游至少一次。生命的成长来自不断地历练。参加那种自由行的旅游，住进青年旅社，地球其实并不大，每年都出门，几年下来，就可以把红旗插到地图上，许多美好的回忆，成为生命的动力，更加有热情和能量，去投入工作。 第五份，用来投资。先存起来，然后可以投资到股市里，也可以用来做进货的本钱，小本生意很安全，开一个淘宝网帐户，去批发点东西来卖，亏了反正也不多，赚呢，既赚了金钱，又赚了自信和胆量，还赚来做事情的阅历。赚的钱多了，就可以开始购买长期的投资计划，使自己提早获得一份长久的保障，保证自己和家人在将来，不论发生什么事情，都有一份充足的资金来照顾，生活品质不会下降。 好了，这样熬了一年，第二年如果你还在拿2000元的收入，那就是你的不是了，这么不长进，活着也够丢脸的，看看有什么品牌的豆腐比较硬，买一点来，用头去撞吧。 月收入在3000元以下的，一定要兼职赚钱，不要穷，还很有个性，挑三拣四的，这个不愿意做，那个没有兴趣。收入不高，一定要非常勤奋，尽量去找跟销售有关的工作，比如房地产中介，这就是很不错的兼职工作，既可以认识很多有价值的人，又可以锻炼自己的信息收集能力和营销技巧。 衣服啊，鞋子啊，这一年你是得尽量少买了。最好全部通过你的兼职赚的钱去买。当作奖励自己的一种方式。额外多赚钱的时候，记得买个礼物给你的爱人，谢谢他/她支持你的财务计划。很坦诚地告诉他/她，为何你那么勤俭，告诉他/她你的梦想和努力的方向。 到处都有需要帮助的生意人，兼职帮他们做点事情，去磨练自己的意志、口才、和工作能力吧，加上你的理财技巧，第二年，你的收入至少要增加到5000元。最低也应该是3000元，否则你收入的成长还赶不上通货膨胀呢。 无论你的收入是多少，记得分成五份。增加对身体的投资，让身体始终好用，增加对社交的投资，扩大你的人脉，增加对学习的投资，加强你的自信，增加对旅游的投资，扩大你的见闻，增加对未来的投资，增加你的收益。 保持这种平衡，逐渐你就会开始有大量的盈余。这是一个良性循环的人生计划。身体将越来越好，得到更多的营养和照顾。朋友会越来越多，存储许多有价值的人脉关系，同时，你也有条件参加那些非常高端的培训，使自己各方面的羽翼丰满，思维宽阔，格局广大，性格和谐。而你，也就能够逐渐实现自己的各种梦想，购买自己的需要的房子、车子，并且给未来的孩子准备一笔充足的教育基金。 人生是可以设计的，生涯是可以规划的，幸福是可以准备的。现在就可以开始。在你穷的时候，要少在家里，多在外面。在你富有的时候，要多在家里，少在外面。这就是生活的艺术。穷得时候，钱要花给别人，富的时候，钱要花给自己。很多人，都做颠倒了。 穷得时候，不要计较，对别人要好。富的时候，要学会让别人对自己好。自己对自己更好。穷要把自己贡献出去，尽量让别人利用。富，要把自己收藏好，小心别让别人随便利用。这些奇妙的生活方式，是很少人能够明白的。 穷的时候，花钱给别人看。富的时候，花钱给自己享受。穷的时候一定要大方，富的时候，就不要摆阔了。生命已经恢复了简单，已经回到了宁静。 年轻不是过错，贫穷无需害怕。懂得培养自己，懂得什么是贵重物品，懂得该投资什么，懂得该在哪里节约，这是整个过程的关键。别乱买衣服，少买一点，但是可以买几件很有品味的。少在外面吃饭，要吃就请客，要请，就请比自己更有梦想的、更有思想、更努力的人。 一旦生活需要的钱已经够了，最大的花费，就是用你的收入，完成你的梦想，去放开你的翅膀大胆地做梦，去让生命经历不一样的旅程。

Let's not.

2011-03-27T19:47:00.004+08:00

Let's not be so negative lar!

Sorry I'd been kinda negative these days. Some might not have noticed it, some did i know. But being a part of the usual me, this is nothing new la right.

But but i just wana train myself in a way that i could motivate myself instead of relying on others on that. :)

Oh yea, met up with my dearest sisters altgthr ytd, feel so great. And everytime when i met up with them i just feel like blogged it out i don't know why hee. Time with them's awesome even though its just a lil while. And we could just talk talk talk talk and talk non-stop.

Then my house gt no electricity for almost half a day yesterday. Parents said started from 4am, and when we woke up at 6am for ching ming only we noticed. Until when we're back, its still not solved. Hm, so ngam its of the earth hour day hehe. So after our lunch gathering i went kher's house for her unifi and i managed to do some work there haha and the rest of the time, we do the jailbreaking iPod thingy with her sis and bro. I jailbroken my iPod like some time earlier and i didnt know how to use it actually. So her brother helped me to install some software so that i could use all the Apps FOC! And we jailbreak her sis's present the iPod 4G also with the installer I'd downloaded on my pc. So i can now do a lot of things with the iPod already! Can even download GPS but its a lil too big its size. Had been spending more time on games dy now Oppsss >.<
AND IM 'BUYING' THEIR SHARES, its super expensive like USD300+ for one share ONLY (luckily its only some virtual money) :P

Oh yeah that made my day. But sadly i have to face all those whatever i need to face now.
hm?

oh btw, my investing game for one of my unit, i just found out im actually ranked 18 out of 350 students? haha. err wad i did was only buy shares and did not sell at all. and i didnt really have time to look at it like everyday. and i don't do much also. cuz i don't know much bout shares, dont know wad to buy and im lazy to even look at all the performances history, prices, analyst recommendations and whatever ratios all that i learned in class but im earning some fake money there hmm. :P

p/s: I need to quit my um ah um ah while talking. helppp.

关于。

2011-03-24T15:50:00.001+08:00

生活的脚步在不知不觉中变得很快很快，已经不是在想追不追得上的时候了，我是被它拖着走的。很现实的。
每天每天的花费，就已经是种压力，省已经不是办法了，因为没有奢侈的空间。有时一些看似奢侈的花费，是绝对难以避免的。=\
课业，每天每天忙着把功课做完，顶多做得漂亮，却没有真正想过我有学习到吗？
每天面对的种种，会真的觉得疲惫，可是不是停下的时候，因为试问自己疲惫的背后有做到东西吗？

关于我们每次讨论的种种，又有意义吗？至少那是我觉得很珍贵的部分。
*也至少，我珍惜我很幸运的那件小事。

Packed.

2011-03-15T22:10:00.002+08:00

Hm pretty packed schedule, not sure is this spending my time to the fullest or busy.
I never meet people this much in my life before i think, friends relative or new peoples.
Everyday's full with things mainly works, meetings and trainings, then lunches, dinners, movies, parks and all.
Kinda balances, but it shouldn't be this balance actually, i should spend less on entertainment i know right.

Last week was a pack one too, same goes to this week.
Watched 'Unknown', went to bangsar's poco, went titiwangsa, went dpc, went Shangri-La hotel, went lot 10, went ampang for hiking. Well this seems so much of relaxation. Yes it is sometimes. But i did spend time on school works too. A lil of messing things up =X
Messed up today too. Last min touch up on submission, late for class, almost bang a civic (its his fault!), no parking, no break time, dont understand lecture, stay back until 8pm, walk a long way into the dark forest to the car. hmph.
and endless of discussions i have. sigh.
omg investment's task started. i don't know how to do investments how am i gonna start it for assignment.

Sg trip cancelled super disappointing. =\
Lotsa photos accumulated, feels like sharing. but no time to process them so....
but see this. heee.
i fell down during hiking.
nvm, this shows that i really went hiking ma hah.

2012.

2011-03-12T23:25:00.002+08:00

and

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=193945670635725

There's many videos of this kind posted on fb and all recenlty due to disasters earthquakes all, and i found some pretty interesting. Just that these are in chinese. Lots of interesting knowledges in the videos. About the year 2012.
Maybe we shouldn't really be so afraid of the 2012, 21 of december like omg the end of the world is approaching, why not just carry on our life full of enthusiasm. Cuz like if the rumour is true, we will still have to die altogether, but there's no such thing like all your effort's wasted and bla bla bla cuz everything will go to an end right; how if the rumour is just a rumour, and that its not happening, its late to catch up with things, and by the time you will be hoping for the end of the world. -.-

Hope the day comes fast, so we human know clearer of what we can and should do after that freaking day, not taking it as an excuse anymoree.

=]

2011-03-12T16:32:00.001+08:00

Just so many things to be done.
Well, challenges!
I shall face them positively with all my best!

admit it.

2011-03-03T23:15:00.001+08:00

Yes i feel stress. ='(

I am not even being stressed.

I just feel it.

School.

2011-03-02T00:06:00.007+08:00

Okay okay. I know i'd been shouting everyday like a pre-standard one kid that i do not want to go to school, and i seriously meant it, but well sometimes we just have to face the fact and be the big girl.

Whether happy or not, we still have to go school so why not wipe the tears and put on a smile, face the classmates teachers and tutors. heeee. I was so so immature thinking back the yesterday. Embarrassing too. Thanks a good friend for being with me.

Well i know many would think like is going to school really that big deal to me. I don't know. I just remember some hard time i went through. Plus the three months holiday is making me reluctant to switch my school mode on.

But one thing bout the three months holiday, a lot i did and learnt. Knowledges that couldn't be found on the texts. And it feels like 3 weeks cuz its very occupied. And its not the good times all the while. But well, had fun too, and at least a get together once a week. :)

And for the coming three months, thing will be so much diff. It could be even more occupied than ever, and learn even more. And of course tough times which requires much endurance.

Thats why when i see how i need to adapt these differences, i just... sigh.

But the 1st day. Wasn't really that bad. As in its better than i'd expected la. I hate the parking part, cuz there's no parking at noon hour and i have to park in the free parking and its sooooo far away. But im okay with walking, take it as some exercise hehe. I still hate looking at the market board the books selling and all. And my boooks to be sold. Just a bit tedious. And i didnt check the monash email that there's this announcement saying the tutorial class of this unit will be postponed to next week -.- so i rushed for ntg and its 2 hours before my next lecture. But luckily i got to talk to dear xjing in between b4 my lecture. :)

And lecture was the best part of the day. I feel its going to be interesting cuz its all bout investment! oh well but its a third year unit. But the assignment sounds err challenging. Its like we're going to manage our own investment portfolio, and start doing the investment in a.... virtual investment site. Its a bit like the OSKIC the last time we played. But its far more than just shares i think. 20% of the unit. and we're given like USD1million, in 9 week's time, with reference to the New York trade market. Return to be reported each week and an final evaluation report. A bit the worried cuz i seriously know ntg much bout shares, but many friends can help i guessed and hopefully. :)

Im gonna be okay. Yes i will. =]

______________

This was yesterday.
And i was all happy to meet them 2 tgthr.
They might not find it enjoyable but i did and that actually adds on the feeling of tense when thinking of going back to school. Like im not gonna feel these anytime soon after school started.
Well, we practiced on some script, we stalk ppl's fb (them ny :p), we have guitar and sang along song.
:)

Lucky to have this 2 good good friends. =]

:-(

2011-02-28T12:42:00.003+08:00

I simply don't wana go back to the school. Like seriously.

I can seriously cry in the night thinking of going back to that schooling place. how sad.

Yes i admit i do not at all enjoy this school life. durh.

Anyway, big girl should face the reality, should accept the fact that tomorrow you need to go to school already, all the tests assignments and blar.

Hm well, it isnt that bad, many started theirs today and im still, home :)

But i need to wash the car, for school, then keep all the clothes and all all.

And to the mall to get the phone repaired, like after 3 months of holiday finally i have to do this. hmph.

Btw, just to get rid of the tense feeling, finally i took out baby and decided to get out for some snaps yesterday.

Even the weekly frim walk i bring it along with me.

Amazed with the natural tone of the forest :)

We're all growing.

And then the evening to Sentul park, a place i longed to go. Its so near from segambut. I remember we passed by the place the last time.

Its a nice park in there, lake, swans, fishes, green green grass, and nice buildings. KL Performing Arts Centre (KLPAC) is there, and there is one japanese KOI there, which i didnt get a chance to look at it yet.

I will definitely go there for another peace of mind anytime soon :)

jump babe jump!

Sys + Gbl :)

Building yang ada feel. :)

credit to GBL. with her favourite sun flares. xD

walk in the air?

jump jump.

group pic :)

and so.

hi school.

2011-02-22T16:37:00.001+08:00

Working day 22-Feb.

Yes in the office got ntg to do. Don't even know if today counts as a salary paying working day. The boss asked me to come in today, with only few calls to follow up. I told her but she said alright she will gimme a call to see if i need to come today. I knew she will end up not calling me. And so i came. I have seriously nothing to do cuz today's the day of the event and so the boss and the crew will be super busy at the event place. No way if she says today doesn't count cuz i just pumped petrol and feel so exp. I need income. :(

Angpau money's a bit not enough. Im so so gonna get married after 30 to take angpaus for at least 10 more years. ahha.

School's starting and this morning everyone was damn gan zheong allocating our timetable. Kinda ~~happy~~ satisfy with the allocation the school arranged for me cuz its all according to my primary preferred time the last time we allocate our preference. Well, comparing business's timetable with whatever all other courses, our time would be cool for them, like yeah, sooo much different i know right. So, how not to be guilty without some part time? well, there's one way. That is. Assignments will do the job. Three third year subject and one 2nd year unit. Again i hope i won't get too stressed up like all the previous sems. I know its not gonna happen laa. The friend is urging me to look at the assignments already?! -.-

Its so long since my last vacation I don't even remember when and where. Have few on this year, and hm i don't feel really excited. One is like not confirmed, but its really nothing much there? another one is a beach i like so much but not like we're going there for a real vacation also and i have to pay sendiri and and its during my sem not even holiday. Another one, two weeks! feel broke now and so dont even think i will enjoy shopping or whatever there. I just know its freaking hot there that time. But, i miss KLIA so much. yeah people know i love that place ;)

Time flies and i just got over the summer break like... this. Yes its fast but somehow i actually felt through it. I mean, at least i didn't went through it like a long sleep. I went through a lot, a lot more than i remember, mentally included. Time to face more challenge, 2011 will be a different year. :)

Random: "Compound interest - The 8th Wonder of the World."
Have you ever appreciate this magic? No? Then you have to realise it's roll in your loan.

p/s: People, please open up yur mind in learning things!! many many other things other than whats related to your field that are worth noticing off and learn alright?
Feel sad for them who don't.

To the reals.

2011-02-13T00:33:00.003+08:00

Friends really keep me going, the real ones, thank you!
Sincerely :)
________

Can i pretend there's no tomorrow? =(

Feel so small of me now. Tiny.
Nothing great ahead, empty.
In fact, there's a little too much to think about.
________

School is so freaking near that i feel the tense heavier each day. Argh.

and invoice had been received, tuition fees' so much.

Somehow feels like finishing off the course asap.

Didnt' regret on taking business but the school. Feel kinda not worth it. seriously.

Tmr's working day again!
2 more weeks and im gonna miss the income.

CNY was great. hm ignore the losing money gambles ;p
had movies: Shaolin, The Green Hornet, Homecoming, Mr. and Mrs. Incredible.
had expensive ktv session. got angpaus, and been spending A LOT, and eat a lot omg!
played with firecrackers.
Gotto know many new friends too, don't remember names anyway :P

Wana play more before schoool starts!
hm. just saying. :(

Would things change? 21.

2011-02-11T15:28:00.006+08:00

Just a random thought, parents give their 'kids' a big freedom key on their 21st b'day, or its just apparently a wad, ritual? Do they really mean it.

Well, it wasn't me that desperate for more freedom. I have sufficient freedom i guessed, as compared to many of my age, but things have both sides, sometimes i just don't. Hm, i think right by my 21st, i still won't be allowed to drive after 12, its for my safety anyway, I accept this. At least, i can stay after 12am when i do not drive.
Hm, 21 years old, when people celebrate it big, got a key frm the parents, meaning there is something right? like turning into an adult. Turning into an adult, means we hold responsibility of our destiny, we need to decide on our own things, and usually we do not want our parents to worry (or interrupt?) in things we wana do, or the way we think, meaning IF the truth holds that 21 years old is something, they have to nag, teach and give permissions and BRAINWASH and all before the age. After that, its for us to go out there, face obstacles, fail or survive.

I hope i wouldn't be always asked on where did i go, who i spent with, what i did, what am i going to do, and told me what shouldn't i do. I would have probably be matured enough to have at least restrict myself way before 21, things that are strictly prohibited to do like wad, smokes? But advices and sharings are okay with me, just not something that restrict me from.... 'performing' my life i want it to be maybe. Cuz by then, we and the parents are apparently on the same level, we are going to be all called ADULTS. Just that we are newbies to that categories, and they are the experienced folks, who can share their experiences. But again, things have both sides, some 'kids' just don't wana proceed to that category mentally, the positive sides, as in they just wana have freedom in not going back home early maybe? Then naggings and supervisions are needed for THEM.

If i will be given more freedom in things i do, YES, growing a little older to 21 is favourable.
hehe and then stay forever 21. :P
I do believe i can learn things faster this way.
And, hopefully i can complete my degree as planned, on my 21st. (noo this reminds me of schoool! =\)

p/s: relativess, nooo im not a kid anymore, i know you people see me grow, but no i don't really like this perception very much. It does matter.

Owe and confession, the not-so-realistic part of photography really takes my breath away, its like my major not-so-realistic part of me now. Just don't burden me with it, hm merely a precious relaxing hobby, which i don't want it to be ruined, i won't wana see it stained with some complicated reality plz! sigh.

Bunny Year!

2011-02-02T18:41:00.001+08:00

Yes Happy CNY people! Relatives were back.
can't wait for angpaus sekalian :P

Its bunny year, and 3 more years till my 2nd cycle of the horse year, marking my age of 24 D: Its freaking fastttt.

Feel guilty of the holidays. Feels free.

Let's plan for visitS! movies! ktvs! gatherings! meet-ups!

not many days of holiday though :(

back to work so soooooooon. gah.

I don't see anything bad of this.

2011-02-01T00:47:00.002+08:00

Why are people so afraid of these?

Haihz i feel so wasting time, and in fact i am!
Why am i cracking my head on how to arrange for the others?!
and at the same time didnt manage my own things well.
Im so not gonna care so much anymore.

Seriously, anyone wish to save money with a higher interest return? :)
Yea, sound so realistic of me. But hey, this is my job, if u know what am i doing now.
Date me! pweaseeeee :D
I mean, im actually worry of people avoiding me also, like u know, when they thought we're going to beg them on somethings. -.-"
can't help.

Currently reading 'Poor Dad, Rich Dad' (direct translation) on iPod.
And its a very good book indeed.

No! Im not giving up!

Of motivation.

2011-01-27T14:50:00.001+08:00

A post with photos i guess :)
cuz me is an unemployed again. lala.

It was so ngam that i finished all my works the day before ytd, when i thought i would have to take some 2 days leave before the cny for ytd and today. She gave me so so much of data and was kinda stunned when i saw them. And all i know is the boss sitting in front of me, asked my supervisor to hand her in the data entries by that day itself. So i promised the supervisor that i'll complete them for her by that day even if i have to OT. In the end i managed to finish all of them with arnd 30 mins of OT, on a laptop! which is so much slower than on a proper keyboard -.- She's so happy and in the end i got a small bear frm her. Well, the bear is actually from their client - Intel. But its quite cute also, happy :) haha.
But that would most probably be my last day of work already. Not sure after CNY though. D:

Then ytd we went up genting. Not for relaxation though. We have to pay for it actually. And thanks the kawan baik for joining cuz i would be so super hell sien and depressed if i were to attend the day myself, with a group of not close ppl or strangers. But i did get to know some great people like my roomate. She is wad we called a bit scary already. Like she is younger than us and she is NOT supposed to act, think, do, talk like this. Well, not the 1st person i met acting this way la. Met some last year also >.<

Went up so early in the morning, and we don't rly have much time walking arnd also. But personal POV, ytd's night event was kinda success as in the event was a bit happening. And i think the event was kinda well-planned, 3k audiences. Not like those failed event i'd attended before. The performances are good, some funny magic show, and violin performance by Dennis Lau, just a bit too loud of the PA system in the ballroom. Lucky draw was all about gan zheong. And the lucky draw way was pro. And it was about getting a Peugeot 308!

After dinner went walk around genting outdoor in the strong mist, join cousin and friends for chilling then makan maggi at hotel room. Things so expensive up there D:
_____________________________________________________________________________

Photos:

from the other day, went Ijok for makan trip. Not cheap :( but once a while i guess.
(i always comfort myself this way that's how i get broke)

Lecturer's son.

Ijok famous hak yi chicken.

seniors.

John's thomas

As for ytd.

geng punya people.

new friend.

dum dum di dum.

2011-01-24T00:11:00.003+08:00

I actually feel the stress they placing on me already. But sometimes i just wana pretend being ignorant, and sit aside not thinking bout the everything. But i know this is not gonna work any longer, cuz in the end, it'll be me who gain nothing i know.
Ah, this morning's training. so not good, feel so not right.

I went shopping like finally. This means i spent, a lot. D:
Gah, what to do, its for a whole one year supply, hopefully. Some are meant for long term usage, hopefully too. And what's worst is, i haven even finish buying what im supposed to get home, as in, those written on the shopping list. And i think im gonna pretend i don't need them.

Yumcha-ed today. Happy :))
We're going to have another self-prepared dinner session some time in the next week. Even happier :))
Hopefully we can make it la.
How nice if i do not have those commitments. But if i really do, i would again feel like im only playing all the time. Just fgt bout the idea.

I dyed my hair like finally! hm kinda satisfied, not too obvious is a good thing heehe. :)

Of reality again.

2011-01-16T14:40:00.001+08:00

Well, what can i say.
I'd expected the path to be not easy, and no matter what its my decision and i just have to cope witn it, at least i tried right.
Many would ask why. I can only say that im some girl who always feel insecure especially for the future. Its not my first time saying i feel old already. I'd been worrying since don't know when. Since 18, i'd been so worried when i got 20. Now when im 20 or 21 (everyone corrected me sigh), it just got worst. :P
I just wana learn more and do more things so that i can be prepared when im not pampered or in parent's guardian anymore, or when i got out of the school. If i were to not care about anything now i know i will be damn lost after i graduated from school, which will be so sooon.
Yea thinking bout all these are stressful.

I went exam on friday. and i passed both. :)
Thanks for the companion, to the friend! or i might be late for exam.

My forehead is getting so damn out of control, i guessed its due to some hormone intolerance > < I hope the medicated solution i bought will be useful D:

Ahh wana get my piano repaired like after so long....!
The other day i let dwayne listen to JJ's new song 'ta shuo' and he played it out that day's evening. -.-
without piano piece. (even if there is, he dont know how to read also).
gou liao. damn unfair right. Im a grade six and he's grade zero.
Make me wana play it on the piano also.
People, listen to the song, its so nice. :) *especially the piano part <3

Oh i'll be working with GBL tomorrow. =D

All z best.

2011-01-13T13:52:00.001+08:00

Oh finally its friday. Im worry so worry. I imagined going to the city so early in the morning and find the place and gao dim everything all by myself, it would be so sad. So, im so gonna appreciate the companion by best friend, very muchh! :)

New year is in less than a month's time. and i haven step out of the house for ANY shopping yet. Not at all. I just wana keep myself not spending. And it seems to me that shopping for cny is just something i have to do, not something i want to do, i.e. im forced to. Whatever im not gonna care now :P

Seriously, i couldn't do the readings at home, like at all. after feeling tired, its still tired. not like i have many fun things to do at home also. But i just cannot focus. One thing good, i do not need to spend! hehee. yep sorry again for being so money minded but yea like what to do, bankrupting still.

Luck to me yo.

I never told you.

2011-01-11T12:48:00.002+08:00

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you

I just held it in
And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you

And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you

Sigh.

2011-01-08T22:23:00.003+08:00

why am i so soft hearted lah.
until noon today i was still pissed. he was still not making any sense with any arrangement.
but i should say the arrangement was a compensation for what the supervisor had done to me.
cuz i was arranged to work with kher which was so good, and we were stationed at the same place. Plus the sales of my product was good, good enough to earn me much more incentives than my working place this morning.
but i still don't agree with whatever he'd done. don't feel like talking to the supervisor still. hng!

good tmr kher fetching meee. :)

p/s: officially, i worked for a month already! income streams in fast plzz.

PISSED!

2011-01-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

so unhappy with whatever happened today.
All the nonsense arrangement by the useless supervisor.
and all crap by the company whoever, tried convincing me not to be angry at them,
nonsense!

i am just so gonna finish this week's job and thats it. bye!

='(

I HATE THEM SO MUCH NOW! GO DIEE.

Broga Hike.

2011-01-04T16:13:00.004+08:00

Sorry for the long winded post, cuz me has nothing to do in the office now. And due to this, i have no job for another few more days. D: but i need some time for some books also. Im so free now that i can save the photos from fb and upload here hehee.

Yes I hiked Broga Hill the other day! yeah like finally right. I know many people went there for quite some time ago already, and being very outdated, feel like trying hehe. And i didn't actually desperate to go there actually but its just a spontaneous idea cuz i really don't know where else can we go for outing. I was on leave cuz the day was supposed to be reserve for an outing with miko and others cuz she will be going back to sg the nxt day. At last Miko couldn't make it cuz she just got back to mlys few hours ago and so it would be impossible for her to wake at 2.30am for the outing. In the end, 5 of us went, and i enjoyed it much with all my best friends all together! Really kinda happy that the all my best friends could get along very well together, they were like friends who knew each other for so long already even though they'd just met for the 2nd time hehe.

At night i managed to only sleep for an hour due to insomnia even though i was freaking tired before i sleep. Then i was wide awake after the 1 hours sleep until 2.00am when i have to wake up already. Gave 2 morning calls each to the guys at different times, and they usually wont pick up the 1st call -.- It was kinda crazy to wake that early for the trip especially for them cuz its the time they usually get into the bed. Danny was the driver of the day, as usual, really appreciate that. Trips wouldn't succeed always because its not easy to get someone who are willing to drive. He fetched dwayne, then me, then kher then we head to semenyih, with none of us knowing the way hehe. Good that we managed to get to semenyih and then we waited at some KFC and Pizza Hut for honey xiang ru to guide us. She went back to semenyih a day ago for her study week. Its deserted over there, and the guys started to tell some horror stories and experiences what the hell. After some time she reached and we follower her car to the Broga Hill place. The place was......... so inside and ulu place. Its kinda dangerous cuz its still very empty at the time and we stopped just beside the palm tree estate. I was a bit scared to walk it cuz its very very dark, imagine walking into the forest when the sky is super dark, and there's no one else around, and we got only 2 torch light, we can't even see the road without the torch. The atmosphere was very serious especially after the horror stories before that -.-, we were not allowed to call each other's real name but some cute nicknames haha.

The drizzle stopped.

We need more trial.

cuz the flash is powerful.

the smelly rope i'd been talking about. but without it, its impossible to go up.

The route up wasn't easy, its not only the normal walking up, there's a lot of crawling we needed to go through as the route was a lil muddy and slippery maybe cuz it was raining or drizzling before that, and its also very steep. After some one hour plus, we reached the first peak of the hill. Many people were up there already, most of the big rocks were occupied lol. We chilled for awhile before realising its not the toppest peak yet. Before we could proceed, the sky started to drizzle. -.- Thanks to me, i brought umbrella heheheh. 5 of us fitted into the small umbrella resting around a rock. Thank god it wasn't going to rain! or else we couldn't proceed further, and couldn't even go down the hill. When the rain stopped we proceed to other peaks. Frankly advise, there's no need to go to the top for that freaking board. Its a little dirty up there, the view is not as nice as the lower peaks, and its hard to get up there when its necessary to use a smelly rope to get up to a huge rock.

In the end, around 7.00am+, the sky got brighter and brighter but the sun was nowhere to be seen. No sunrise! :( cuz the sky was covered by clouds. sigh. so unlucky. Took some photos, chilled then soon we went down hill cuz we were all exhausted and famished. Can't even get some good jump shot cuz no energy hehe. The journey down the hille feels longer and more adventurous maybe cuz we can see the route already. We have to go down even slower cuz again slippery and steep. Its easier slidding down.

aw i like this!

and this!


thanks to tripod and timer function. and of cuz them who helped carry the tripod up hehe.

So in total we started the climb at arnd 5 and went down at 9, a total of 4 hours up there. Honey brought us to some coffee shop to have our breakfast. We failed to try the ais kacang recommended by her cuz we were super tired. So we went home straight after that.
As compared to the one i hiked, Bukit Sg. Lembing, i think this is tougher. But a young mother we met up there told us, the one in sg. Lembing is tougher. hm i don't rly remember cuz it was few years back already. But that time, i saw the rising sun. :)

At night went ecurve for movie The Tourist. Angelina Jolie is hawwt!

Bye 2010, Hi 2011.

2011-01-01T01:44:00.002+08:00

YES its 2011 already! As usual, as everyone else, i would like to have a better year ahead. 2010 wasnt really that bad for me, i would say it was kinda good actually. I didn't really have some super down time along the year as far as i rmb, at least for the moment i think so :) And all i could remember was some good ones, and i don't know if this is good, that i think i played a lot last year hehe, at least those really brought me lots of laughters and happiness. I LOVE YOU PEOPLEE :]

Have a good year ahead everyone! I hope i could gain more knowledge and experiences, keep learning, and be more positive in life. And that i could get along with all that matters. :)

Happy new year people!!!!!!

New year eve counting down, i rejected all invites cause i don't feel like going into the crowds. And i think it would be great spending the time with my parents cuz i hardly spend time with them these days due to my packed routine so i joined them right after my work. And after dinner they wanted to go to DPC D: To be honest i don't like the idea cuz i knew it will sure be crowdy over there but since they have the plan, i followed :) It would be nice if i have the mood counting down there with a bunch of noisy friends la haha but my intention was just to try snapping some fireworks shots hehe so..... Snappings turned out to be... not satisfied! i didn't really do references on how to snap these shots and i just snap like er normal and its a bit not nice hmph.

I wanted to summarise the year better but i don't seem to have the time haha.

OH and i will surely blog bout Broga trip some time later. Hm i think its a good one ;P regardless of what the others think hehe. But i think they enjoyed too :D

I have to work later! on the 1st of Jan! ;P

p/s: ytd the sudden-declared pub hol was nice, why? cuz i didnt expect a double pay haha. 2 days in a row, nice rite ;P

Welcome to my life.

2010-12-27T00:31:00.006+08:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
You feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
You feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

Hell, im so gonna let my mind have some rest. My mind is constantly complicating things, constantly drying up my brain juice. But i seriously do not know how. Its always only when i escaped that i stop thinking, so seriously. But i couldn't escape forever. Sometimes i'll just have to face it. I'm tired of thinking hello.

Ok its only the 2nd week. And i feel so bored of the project already. Its not some very bad project compared to those i had the last time but maybe i didnt have work like this for quite some time already, im feeling so bored of the job. Its like constantly waiting for time to pass you know. And its tiring faking the enthusiasm, or being friendly or a cherrful 'kid' to the passerby or customers, and smile so widely to everyone. Smiling makes me feel better nevertheless, or more positive but sometimes, deep inside, its empty. I passed through the well decorated hall after work and it feels so merry. People with their family and friends, happily taking photos. Hm. envy :) You might think its so lifeless of me right now, its true but nah its not that bad lar. At least, i feel its warm.

*
Something i hate about supermarket, those workers behind the store. i hate them so much! :(
Something good about promoting in supermarket are some of the nice customers, they talked to me so spontaneuosly, surprised of me as a uni student already -.-, start asking me whr i study and then talked about many unrelated stuffs heee. And i had got some compliments like 'you speak english so well' hahahah. :p
*

I want the sun and blue sky. So i could feel bright of whatever its ahead of me.

jingle bella.

2010-12-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

23/12/2010

Horoscope!
happened to spot some daily horoscope on both the chinese and english newspaper today. im not someone who believes in horoscope like omg-so-trueee kind cuz reading other 11 horoscope feels the same erm sometimes. haha. just to sharee.

Sinchew:
You should try doing some calisthenics for destressing purpose due to your recent stressful routine.

The star:
There will be concern over money matters. You have to work out a budget and stick to it.

The 1st one. i consider yoga a kind of calisthenics? haha. btw hmmm stress.... mentally yea sometimes, like you know, i think really a lot. physically, working is a bit sien, especially hypermarket promoter -.- but what to do, cash needed to carry on the daily routinee.
Yesterday we're supposed to have some free work out session from some personal trainer who approached us but he failed to make it last minute so the friends taught me some exercises (i think its some warm up for them). AND, today, my whole body ached like HELL. hahahah. i guess i shouldn't push myself like that yet laa, cuz i hardly move todayy. i moved like an OKU. the whole body is superr pain, ok except the face, that was yesterday. and im going to work tmr, and will be out for the wholeee day for more than 12 hours. LOL. luck to me yo!

2nd one, oh yeah, money matters. I don't know how could i work out a budget right now, cuz i don't even have erm... budget. guess i just have to save as much as possible. omg. sobs. but its so hard, for example i haven make facial appointment for soooo damn long already, and my face especially the forehead as usual, is so so so terrible right now. hmph. annoying fringee but i have to let it dowwn. D:

so Merry Christmas everyone. my xmas will be very 'special'. sigh. oh well, at least, will be seeing the good friend in the morning.

Updates!

2010-12-20T01:11:00.003+08:00

yeppo, work back as promoter for part time since i really cannot get good jobs after that 4 days of relaxing work.
oh yea did i mention about the 4 days relaxing job. heee its really a goood job lar i think (as compared to hypermarket job, a bit sien, sigh). So i worked as replacement last week, for 4 days (sad its only the last 4 days, i would like to work more for this man), as part of the petronas roving team. If you'd seen a few people in black, 3 girls and a guy, erm maybe walking through the shopping mall, or standing in the middle of the main streets of KL, im one of them! heheee. I only worked for less than 3 hours for the 1st day, and for weekdays, i have a total of 5 hours of break, plus the boss was late for 2 freaking hours we have ntg to do but to sleeep in the van, and later on a girl got migraine and we went around for clinic, tadah we call it a day. What's more is, the pay is higher than my normal job.
Basically our job scope includes holding a cardboard for advertising, stand and pose by the busy street of KL, many starings from people but we were all wearing shades, with us dressed in all black, then we also give out car stickers, these are the tougher ones, we did also photo shooting session, to snap some funny shots for some photo caption contest at petronas website. But most of the time, walk around in shopping malls! We just have to walk in a row, and it was really like shopping cuz the other 4 of them including the boss, when we passed through some shops they wana enter, we just go in and look around, sometimes, buy clothes summor. yeng rite. and the boss likes to chill a lot, and we usually chill for some long time :)
Places we went around in KL + klang valley: Mid Valley, Pavillion, Times Square, KLCC, Sunway Pyramid....... etc. one thing i dun like bout the job, 2nd hand smoke + car smoke. sigh.
oh and on the 2nd last day, the outing friends visited me work! they went klcc for pc fair but we failed to meet cuz i went off to pavillion dy when they loook for me. felt sorry cuz i couldnt rly pick up the phone and there's so many entrance in klcc. after that only they found me when i was standing in front of uniqlo. didnt follow the company-employed van but went dinner with them, marcus dropped me at bangsar where my car was parked. so nicee of them riteee for visiting me!

i saw the fake snow at pavillion! heee.

After that day, i thought i have some job but turned up to be some miscommunication and i actually knew it after i travelled there. hmph.

since i have nothing to do, i went yoga with sean! He has some 2 weeks pass from his gym so i used it. They have many yoga and dance classes we can attend freely. So we woke up very early in the morning to attend yoga class at 7.15am, there's a day i even reached his house at 6am for breakfast first. Feel so healthy! but yoga isn't easy > < 1 hour of class is already kinda tiring, a lot of stretchings, and can get some muscle pain after the stretchings. Thursday after yoga class, went breakfast, rest, then joined the others at sunway pyramid, we went ice skating and movieee. My leg was very very pain after the yoga plus ice skating, but thanks to sean the sifu who taught us how to skate properly heheee, but my left leg still cacat though. Night time watched TRON with an expensive ticket, i dont have much comment cuz..... i was kinda tired and slept a lil in the theatree D: went ss15 for dinner after that, treated by siang, thanks to ice skating haha. conclusion my leg is very very pain until noww.

friday, after work, had some drink tea session. dwayne's plan for us to join the err miss malaysia for some drink at library failed! super miscommunication hahaha super funny. so we ended up with our usual gathering. happy. happy. happy. i can really laugh with them :)

this week i have to study. not for schoool la ok.
cannot go yoga tmr cuz leg is superr painnnnn!

I'll at last gain nothing.

2010-12-07T03:10:00.001+08:00

i don't know how not to think so much.
i had insomnia nowadays, maybe cuz im jobless.
im 20, and im wasting my holidays.
its holiday and i had insomnia hello?
how to stop me from thinking?
even arranging jobs are complicated.
=(
no good.

i hope christmas won't be this sad.
may my december passed merrily.

Birthday, thank you. =)

2010-11-30T17:11:00.002+08:00

The previous post wasn't negative la, just some facts of life.

but seriously, we should always be positive la no matter what. Its influencing our performance everyday. Positively i should face all my stress now, its different with satisfying with everything i own now (知足常乐 is ntg good for me, i need things to be much better!), made this clear, im still trying ok? you think easy ah. i'd been emotional for 20 years ald, not like this can be changed by pressing a button ritee :)

So bout my birthday, had a great one. =)

First was the surprise celebration.

I really really really never thought of friends giving me erm surprise birthday celebration before, maybe cuz i never planned one before? And i know its really not that easy, thinking back the things they'd planned from few days ago, from getting me to go to the place and all, i think if its me who have to plan, it would be a fail one lor. I smiled at the process now, its touching. :)

SO basically the surprise was very very surprising, because friends of different gangs, they gathered together without me knowing. and i didn't even suspect anything before i walked into the room, at all. Starting from few days before, asking me out was hard because my schedule's not fix. And all i remember is that i was so so surprised i couldn't react on the spot. like suddenly different different close friends they got together, and they do not know each other almost at all, and walked out one by one from the washroom of the ktv room. with cakes all, when i was expecting some other people in the room. Never expect to see so many friends that day, never thought about any celebration at all. Actually i really feel touched, just that i was overdosed with shocks that time, mixed feelings, i was still in shock even when i made my wish. now i dun rmb my wish. haha. so not prepared ma!

Thanks them all, thanks dwayne and danny, for planning, and asking my sisters and college friends, thanks my sisters/bff for planning and all too, and honey who came all the way from semenyih, skipped class summor > < and cheryl and mun li for making it, i really feeel so surprise to see you all :') I feeel sooo grateful and touched, seriously. It was just sooo wonderful of my friends. =') thanks all i really love them much. sorry i made some of you skip class k =\ That day was great. just that there's a lil too much of leftover in the ktv room hehe. Had got 2 cakes summor. and we gotto sing~~ :) and thanks them for all presents, i like them much. photos laterr.

Actually i really love my different different friends to get to know each other, i thought of this before, for many times, cuz im always proud to be their friends, so i used to think it would be great if they know each other too. And if you noticed, i always tell friends about my other friends and things about them, so even though they never see each other in real, they kinda know my other friends, their names and all. sometimes i noticed only me who tell all these, i just don't know why hehe. I'd got so many friends who treated me good. but i didn't actually show much of my appreciation. thats bad. I will try to improve on this seriously. I don't know what i have to deserve all their good treats, as always, but i think i won't spend more time figure this out, i just have to treat them well with all i could. =)

Then on my birthday, sunday itself, went out for some meal with family, thanks for daddy's treat, i hope i could be the one treating them including my birthday next year. Daddy sponsoring me my exp air tix as pressie. I appreciate but i hope i could bear it myself.

At night, marcus called me up for our bday celebration. Mine and philip's, same day, one year difference :) I thought it was just some yumcha session or what i didnt ask. He told me arnd 10-10.30, and i can't drive late night, so yao came all the way from puchong to my house to fetch me, and 2 other guys too, at 11pm haha. Great that daddy allowed even its raining and soo late, cuz its birthday! Then back to Giza, to meet 3 more guys. So happy to see them, after soooo long. Drink drink at fullhouse, and bday song to us, cut cake, eat cake till the fullhouse people shoo us away at 12.30am heee. then to Beer Factory for some beer with some cute card games haha. till 1plus i think, to sean's house and chill until 3.30am back home. Someone got drunk and got vry cute, so bad they treated him so 'gooood' knowing he's drunk, haha. pity himm. and the next day me and yao had to wake for work lol. Thanks them too, for their effort to make it for bday celebration! and the cheese cake yummy :) I love them for being my friends, cuz they just never fail to make me happy, even though i knew most of them only this year. :)) got pressie from sean too. thankss thanksss! :))

I enjoyed my birthday! really, thankss all.

some piccs.

fruit cake from de Pastry. nicee! another cake from SR, didnt managed to snap one > <

we have a table fulll of fooods!

'cloud' erm word of the same sound with my chinese name :)

best daddy and mummy!

Pressie:

A big card from danny, prepared also by jason and wee vien :)
i like the card so much. love the photos.
The card has photos of people around me, including different friends and family.
2nd photo card board after the one i gt 2 years ago frm GBL!

Some cute furball soft toy from kher, jing and honey!
love my sisters.
and i know this is cute. dun jealous! xD
danny hugged it all the time in ktv! -.-
i think this is some sea lion? hahaa.
The head band above's from them too, i was asked to wear them throughout the celebration LOL

From dwayne good friend. The process he got me this hoodie was epic haha.
I kinda agreed with the shirt before i know he's getting this for me, on the surprise day, before the surprise.
We went into the shop because he said he wana test his taste for girls' clothes?
then during the celebration, someone from the shop sent it over.
plus a bigger cute mushroom card with more words than the one he gave last year haha.

From danny! if not mistaken =D
they got me so many thingss
thanksssssssssss soooo much!

From GBL: She was in 1u coincidencely on the surprise day, met her b4 the surprise.
and i called her to the room for cake.
then she went and get present -.-
next time dun 'po fei' k, wait till you earn your own $!
but thankss! =)

From sean! Supergirl t-shirt.
The shirt fits nicelyy and its nicee!
and i like his 'card', even its just an A4 paper due to last min haha
i should frame the paper! =P
I really hope i could grow stronger everyday to face challenges!
Like SUPERGIRL!
yes yes seriously i wana be like supergirl! i NEED to :)
thanksss the great buddy!

So YUNE IS 20 NOW. :)

20.

2010-11-30T12:19:00.001+08:00

My birthday post will be posted soon.
But some reality strikes with the happiness and blissful birthday celebration, im officially 20 now. I have no more excuse for many many things. I'd been drown by my disability in achieving many many things and I gave myself excuses. All the reality parts.
Seriously, i am now 20. Hello, 20 years old is not a kid anymore.
No hard feelings, but in my situation, i am 20 now, i feel guilty if i am still asking money from my parents. I knew i didn't do so since some time ago except some petrol allowance but i didn't manage my finance well, indeed i did not even manage them, at all.
Being overdosed with so so so so many people of the same age and younger, every single day, who earned some 5k-21k monthly, you think its easy to ignore their presence. But im not ready, and its all about ability. I hope i could be like them one day, and their mature mentality. why am i still trapped in some pampered shelter, unable to be like them, age is the worst excuse ever, so im not gonna use it.
the sad fact is, i applied for intern. now i hope i wont get their offer. cuz i need cash now sigh :P
how could i earn $ for my mid year 2 freaking weeks trip this summer now. argh omg omg. I swear i won't do things so impulsively anymore. Cuz im spending like a working adult. Which i am not. and even my parents wont do that, cuz those $ are soooo hard earned.
Its time to realise how important is financial management, when now i see how annoying it is to deal with all these now.
Dad told us bout aunt's cancer treatment, the car loan left by some stupid useless cousin, and fees for this stupid cousin to learn some skill. I just feel his burden and think i should plan for myself at least.
and then i feel so guilty about my so expensive tuition fees which i regretted so much of why did i entered such an expensive school, why do i need my parents to still pay for some monthly car loan for the car i use at their age of 50+ ....... and many many things.

I just have to keep thinking so i could be more aware of these all, and wake up, and do what i should do.

release.

2010-11-25T01:11:00.001+08:00

wuwuwuwu.
i thought its holiday.
i know its me who wanted to face the reality fast.
i really hate all these.
i wana give up i wana cry
why can't i make things simplerer?
why do i need to think sooooo much?
why am i in such realistic environment?
why am i not like other people of the same age? (excluding those of the same age in these environment im in now)
i hate options, i hate decisions, i hate myself for being so immature.

i miss someone, sometimes. and his image is fading, after this long.

the week.

2010-11-21T22:48:00.007+08:00

yes, a week had officially passed, since yesterday.
maybe its a lil too self-restrictive, but what to do, a bankrupted human doesnt have much choice :(
Anyway, its good that i managed to make myself follow what i'd planned, just a lil messy of the plan, the intern part.
well, its just back to normal i hope, like i can still allow some entertainment time so it wont be more lifeless than usual.
but, i really had a good holiday week. appreciate much :)

so i had some gathering and outing with friends i loved, my whole week was fully filled, even if its only a week of 7 days, its like i enjoyed so much that it feels like weeks, it feels so far away from the exam which i only got over a week ago. i just didnt get to gather with another outing gang, cuz everyone was busy, i missed them too :)

feel like posting my week with some photos. heee. even though its all on fb.

last friday, the day i had my last paper. like i'd mentioned in some posts before this, i went giza at night, with dwayne the good friend. since its my holiday and its his sem break also, pluss, its his bday week, so we kinda gathered more than we usually do. and we wouldn't have went out maybe if we know miko will be back the next day haha.

i like to play with the knife and folks, snaps i mean.

its fun and funny xD

the next day, me and my sisters' outing. our plan to go poco failed. ended up in bangsar village. 2nd snowflake session after the one the day before. i love my sisters, forever. <3

tuesday went shah alam for some passport thingy and baked cupcakes in the noon, with some failed frosting :P dinner, movie and 3rd snowflakes session with the alvls gang. our last time was during cheryl's bday i think. we watched Megamind and it was funny :D i love them too. and i missed our alvls time, we had lotsa good memories, the college, our lunches, our carpooling, and basketball :) big bro said my face got rounder hahaha and i noticed it's so true! can be observed by comparing or looking at my photos, before and after. omg. i need to control lar seriously, i really went all out during exam, as in i eat like nobody's matter, okay its my matter anyway, but i just kept eating non-stop during exam and im regret now. grrr. and thanks the brother who never fail to motivate me and tell me many many things that very little people around me would share, that's what the brother for :P
*no photos haha.

then my visit to KL. i just remember the day was awesome and i was satisfied.
i don't mind visit kl more often, its big and so different from some usual peaceful place where i would like so snap. ok i sound like im from some ulu area but i was born in kl haha. kinda sad bout this, i should go into the city more often.
yes miko's back, right before her exam, and she spared a day out with us, appreciate! me and her are some seller and buyer relationship now :P
so the usual four of us, went to kl.
lunched at palate palette, some place which got famous recently, the place was smaller than i'd expected and they didn't open the upper floor so we're restricted to see only the small place but the place had got feel. :) the food there was average but many many choices. we were trapped there due to the rain and so we spent quite some time there. overally, satisfied. treated dwayne for his bday there.

oh and its a public holiday the traffic is kind.

i like this one!

after that we were kinda lost, and happened to pass by pavillion so we ended up there. it's been ages since my last visit lar. met CK right when we walked into the mall. rly such a coincidence! kl is soooo big, and pavillion is big enuf and we just met. fate :)

bought movie tix and we have 3 more hours. decided to walk out to sg. wang. had much fun on the way and its not hot, cuz its cloudy and about to drizzle.

meet my 2 cute friends! miko and dwayne ;D

we had good times camwhoring even though its kinda cacat for most of our SS photos. we took photos of us ourselves using miko's ip4, one would hold, and another of us would need to touch the snap button. and we're in the middle of the city, on some busy streets, many looked at us when they passed by i guessed ;P but but i like the photos. i feel so young of us :)
we passed fahrenheit88, lot 10, and then to sg. wang.

thanks to danny's uncle we had free coffee :)

then we weny for movie. ahem. the movie was "awesome". okay we had no other choice and we bought the tix for some movie called "the rise of the mummy". i remember the name mentioned somewhere on fb i think, so like before the movie, i tried consoling them like maybe it's not that bad lar. but........ seriously, we don't know why the hell the movie was approved in the 1st place. wasting consumer's money hello! we were all speechless after the movie. but other audiences were like no response. -.- idk lar what happened. we were very very very... impressed. haha.

walked around pavillion and we sat at the red carpeted stairs for long, to chill. feels like picnic. and waited for ck and friends to come and look for me and take photos. heee.

later on, went back to bu centrepoint where we parked our cars, to starbucks and get some cake for the bday boy. wrote some msg for him on our postcards which i found out with me after i reached home. talked a little of our stuff and some sweet story about someone and mr.starbucks :P

next day had some buffet steamboat at giza, then went ktv. :) its cheap and the system is good.
till friday, morning went frim for a long jog. i should really appreciate this cuz i think i won't have much time going frim with daddy mummy in some time near. sigh. and due to the exam, i expanded, need some exercise to keep fit omg. :(
noon, i was supposed to help out with dwayne's party earlier and he told me arnd 2pm, so i was prepared b4 that, and then only arnd 3.15 he went back frm college, so i waited till then. but when i was about to depart, i noticed the gps had got empty battery, i didnt know i put it into sleeping mode two days ago so it spent all the battery away. i was like omg i dono how to go to the place. and thanks my phone for bringing me round and round till i get somewhere near, but i still need to find out myself cuz the phone's gps sucks. i was freaking lost inside ara damansara but after some 1 hour i think i found my way hahaha. and on the way he told me the catering will not be there early but i already on the way, so i reached like the earliest thr. but with the nice poool and all. quite relaxing :)
so night many people turned up, many ffk which he felt kinda sad but it was fun for the people cuz its poolside, many got into the pool heee. i dono many ppl cuz im some outdated sc member so just help with some photo snapping job.
i like his guitar performing part, he was kinda reluctant to do so cuz he thought its weird, but his mum asked him to do so, and i supported aunty! cuz i like guitar performance. so when we went up to his condo, and about to go down again, his mum was like :"plz bring your guitar down" and i was vry excited and faster i went grabbed it frm his room haha :P
i was kinda touched during their prayer time cuz i think i kinda see him grow, like i rly see this good friend got matured within the year. have a feeling like ah, dai gor zai ald. =')

so picture.

his 1st dedication

many prepared to swim there. and what they did mostly was throwing people into the watar!

time to throw the bday boy into the water, see his mum even supported his friends xD

i said i expanded right-.- ugly me

aww so warm =')

yesterday, even though i slept vry late the night before, i managed to wake up early and do things like planned. haih. i hope what i am doing is right.

p/s: why would i record everything here, im afraid that one day i got cancer and i won't remember things. sounds like alzheimer, okay touch wood. nah, just that goin back to the realistic part of life, i need reminder, always, that i once enjoyed.

Hope this will never come to an end.

2010-11-15T10:59:00.003+08:00

I really enjoy my time now. Some things that annoyed me during the exam are not anymore burdening me that much now cuz i'll just put it/them aside and i have time for them i think.
Im really a happy girl now. Loving my life. Thanks to the feels-like-dying feeling during exam.
I have a week more before facing back the reality. This is sad but i think a week is already a little more than enough already, realistically. How i wish this week will never end! (omitting the finance part, damn broke omg, spending on loan now, horrible vegetable! D:)
I have a fully planned week without me even realising. :)
I will be GOOD :)

Good friend's bday. and he got the best pressie from me so far. something intangible but valuable. Im happy that some of my random thought make people think about it seriously, and usefully. Happy birthday.

post-exam.

2010-11-13T20:27:00.002+08:00

The 2 torturing weeks had finally ended like OMG.
At some point of time i was really really really vry stressed up.
and i don't know if i'd screwed a paper. :(
and many things many many things just ran in and out of my mind.
wasn't easy to focus afterall.
undescribable lar, really some hard time.
so the 2 weeks was... such a longggg looooong one for me omg.
but but. its over now and i am supaa happy. seriously. feels like crying hah.

yesterday.
finished exam early, and i had really limited sleeep the last night,
but i wasn't really tired after the exam, and there's no plan after that so
i drove the way back from school, and all the way i was smiling. this is hm silly but thats for real and i smsed my friend about that but she wasn't that excited, yet maybe.
then i turned into mutiara dmnsara area, my plan was to get something to read!
i mean yea not something to read for exam durrh thats horrible.
so i went all the bookshops there, and i just feel like reading all types of magazines lar. i flipped through fashion, design, deco, travel, photography, gadgets and even recipes! just not some business mag, so boring -.- else, all the mags attracted me.
i enjoyed the noon, no rushing, at borders, popular and mph, and also ikea!
know what i really really wana bring back their catalog lar. for whatever, i just feel like owning one. should i just pretend that i don't know it must be returned. why they never send it to my house punya. :( i want that catalogue.....!
until i realised i was tired only i went home. i thought i will sleeep a little cuz i was really exhausted already but i didn't. i do things i wanted to do during exam, like read magazines. heeee :)
then soon, some plan's on at night since its post-exam and i just wana release a lot of things.

Went KD fullhouse suggested by the good friend, he just knew/saw that place ytd noon -.-
but i like the idea cuz i can bring cammie out for some fresh air! i told him this in the sms and he tot i'll be bringing some friend named 'cammie' and introduce to him haha sorry for disappointing!
so i really did enjoy cuz it was really goood when i can really ignore about studies and studiessss, hm temporarily.
and i/we managed to release things out and i never knew it would be this good after some talk, thanks the friend!
so after that we went snowflake and the outdated never heard of this place before -.- but he ordered some not really nice dessert la, i think. but snowflakes seriously, super full house one everytime i visit, including today! yeah i went again today ;P

this morning woke up early even though i really need more sleep. but we're going to have some 'farewell breakfast' with cousin bro and his gf. so morning we had dim sum together. they both will be off to New Zealand for some long time. and im so envy of them, like going to NZ for some work and travel thingy. its just nice. these are all my dream larh! and and they got themselves a tamron f2.8 for their canon. ohhh mee god. envy! i will miss them for real !

I went out with my dearest sisterss today. oh yeah. really some vry vry happy time. we didn't do much but spending time with them just made my day. like i don't need to care about anything at all. lovess!
but our plan to go poco failed haha cuz we cannot find. but kher figured it out just now, she said we passed that place just that. some lack of luck kaka. we'll go one day! and after that snowflakes KD again. what we ordered today were a lot better. :)

i really wana go KL. i hope i can make it sometime soon, and hope we won't get lost there. heee. have a list of places to visit hehee.
but i have a to-do list, not all what i wana do but things that have to be done! :(
fgt bout it 1st and enjoyyy yeah! =D

tough.

2010-11-02T15:23:00.001+08:00

Things are tough.
I need to be tougher.
I must!

Just 2 weeks my dear.
you gonna be alright.
everything's gonna be alright.

Boooo.

2010-10-28T01:00:00.001+08:00

FINAL.
is here *siren* (thought of the 'zombies are coming~~~' thingy)

as usual. preparing for final makes me think a lot.
i know i seriously shouldn't think about playing this period.
cnt seem to control. this is in my blood. i know i need to change.
HELP needed plzz.

okay so i think if i expressed all here. then it will sort of like copy and paste here, no more storing inside my mind or what. hehehe.
1stly, eveything will be nice with baby cammie i supposed. glad to have earned it. He was what i thought of owning everyday the last final. It sort of motivated me cuz if i fail one unit, i will have to spend the $ saved for baby to retake the unit, can't even cover the costs. but hey i got it now anyway.
But uncertainties just happen. i have another thing bothering me everyday now but whatever it is, will take this as what we face in life. duh.
2ndly, dates after exam. I will have good plans trust mee. just that im limited by my financial constraint now. heee never work for like so long. and spend on daily expense summor. broke. but i think going to a park wouldn't spend me a lot la. wana discover many many parks around.
(you, bring your guitar, you'll play it and we'll sing beside the lake, plzz heee)
lagi, i wana stay overnight somewhere. i miss vacation like hmm.
after that, i'll keep my holidays very busy. i must. so to love life more. =\
and meet great people out there.

so yes now you go back to your studies. hopefully you can pass all.
haih im tired of advicing you, you don't seem listen, to be a good girl.
see what you'll get this time.
aw.

:)

2010-10-24T14:25:00.006+08:00

I just don't like to see the title of the previous post heeee.

Nothing much lately. just the boredom of doing the revisions. unproductively, especially home. I hope everything will be alright.

It's 2.20pm now, a freaking relaxed day, i haven start my revision for the day wth. Went frim like after quite long, and we took a longer path today but it seems short. So its about mood? I love throwing myself into the nature, as influenced by the daddy.
Oh and i love them much, didn't get to spend much time with them as i used to, but i just feel blessed to be with them. Had some tapao nasi lemak and nasi dagang brunch at the round table in our house compound, and it was very very satisfying, with daddy's own coffee formula. yum yum!

Emotional: this was the other day, just maybe i shouldn't go out to the jam when im driving myself haha. Trust me it wasn't nice at all. But being emotional, i could get up from the downs easily, by herself.

p/s:
I know i seem greedy sometimes but hey it wasn't my fault kay. the dream is far and getting further but appreciate alright, i can still see it and think about it, everyday.
we will be good, we will.

imy.

sickening saddening.

2010-10-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

seriously, i dont know what happened. blessed that i am fine now after the medicines all.
i was all good ytd before dinner. sigh.
i just can't stand myself for being weak ~~sometimes ,~~ all time. the stomach especially. i have a super sensitive one and sometimes it just betrayed me like without any symptoms.
felt so sorry for my weak stomach, especially while having meal with this grp of friends again. they won't wana bring me out makan anymore if this happens again, cuz like this is already the 3rd time. D= sad laar cannot enjoy foood. anyway really appreciate for their care. guilty!

last night was hell, like the last time, when i had this during work in 1u, that was food poisoning after some lunch in food court. whatever i took it will just be vomitted out after few minutes. :(
till i have no energy and all i could do was to moan, and sis actually heard it but ntg much she could do cuz she was experiencing the same damn thing. only during the noon time, i sent her home frm school cuz she was not feeling well. and great that she consulted some doctor after that and i could take her medicines. and the doctor said this is infectious, i dont know how but i guessed i was infected like dono when.

okay so i didnt manage to acc honey to buy pressie, and i cannot study.
i hate this much :( i want a better stomach :(

study timee.

2010-10-15T00:46:00.002+08:00

OMG.
again, im done with all the assignments!
this is just awesome. im very touched. like every sem i felt so, the day when all assignments were thrown away. suuuuuuuper relief, but exam's again around the corner.
i need to start studying (yea i haven start lor), and just be hardworking please. :(

updates. last week
erm i think not many knew bout miko's 'visit' to KL. haha. she was back here for 2 days in kl, 2 more days somewhere else. and we managed to meet up the night before she went back. four of us yumcha like we used to last time, until 1am plus and she just gotto get home and pack all her stuffs before her departure to airport at 6am. heee. and we had some great crap as usual, with miko's sg studying experience hahaha. thanks danny for fetching me frm his place, BU to kepong, then to miko's place to aman suria, and back to kepong, and back to BU. cuz i cannot drive sooo late.

so this week is. speechless.
assignments and assignments. rushed for one due on monday. it was hell. i dont see how people can stay up whole night. i just need at least some 2 hours sleep or i feel like dying or i'll end up crying. its super torturing lar people. appreciate when you can sleep oookie? still, dislike dislike dislikeeey assignments. well, maybe its the case when you have to rush it last minute thats it. my bad *guilty*. me is very not productive.
was very tired that day but gotto wait for sis till 4pm, so followed friends to enjoy some brownies in TGI. :)

then when im all blur bout another assignment due today that time, nothing much can be done. just do whatever its distributed for me to do by the leader. but. argh things just dont happen if its not the 11th hour yet. the variables of our framework is not usable for the assignment due to the result run by the spss program, so we changed everything all over again at arnd 4 oclock only yesterday and started the assignment all most all over again. didn't know there's so much to do until i reached uni today, myself. and all i knew was facing the comp frm 9 to 4, non-stop. i dont know how i did it but yea. i didnt exaggerate. the compiling and all were so tedious. and we're communicating thru msn ny with the comp/internet so laggy, so like friends passed by, they will like 'huh why are u doing alone'. heee. fortunately we're passing up a CD. anyway, at least i felt myself contributed something :)

so on tues, after the 1 hour class, went to Sean's family's restaurant's opening, free lunch session. advertise a bit in return for the free lunch :) its called Anson's coffee shop, offering foods originated frm teluk intan. Its located at ss15, the same row with the pork mee, just all the way down, on your right. will snap some photos if i have the chance nxt time. so go for a try ;D
i'll as well introduce dai lou's stall the next time when he managed to operate his ramen stall, soon hopefully!

study! ;)
sorry for boring posts ahha. cnt help.

Here the stress comes.

2010-10-05T17:18:00.001+08:00

Yep, here's again the burning midnight oil period.
until final's done maybe.
i'd been so stressed up today 'discussing' about the assignment with the partner, until i decided to skip the class in the noon and replace it tomorrow. :(
hope this photo can motivate me better ahha.

captioned by the photographer: ganbateh yo! xD

one thing i am negative about beaches is, the insect bites are so poisonous :(
soooo damn itchy now my legs, with big bumps.
i love beach still, of cuz, the cleaner the better hehee.
sepang gold coast's beach is not that clean though, but. its near and like what you expect? ;D
better than nothing teehee.

do work! till then.

I have a place for them.

2010-10-04T02:49:00.001+08:00

I have a place for my beloved photos.
and updates over HERE.
:)

here you end mid-sem break.

2010-10-02T01:10:00.004+08:00

Yep, so tmr is like saturday already.
and i have to go uni still. this is sad but actually good oso to kill my guiltiness.
the whole sem break i didnt do much you know.
i actually spent it like a break, just that i need to go to school for alternate days still, i discussed in school and did ntg at home. so i should feel guilty right?

Honey's back! yooohoooo. with all her 4 months USA experience. I really really envy her. she said the stars there are like galaxies. suuuper full of stars in the night sky. and sky there in the morning is blue and clear, like many told me this when they went overseas. i wonder why we cant have this here :(
and and she can lie on the rocks by the beach looking at the sunset, and the island she stayed has NO vehicles other than bicycles and bull cart. YOU SEE HOW PEACEFUL OVER THERE?!
one of my wish is to lie on some beach or grass to look at the sky, and MUST HAVE STARS. :)
so then ytd we gathered! hearts them.
its like back to high school time. four of us still.
ahhhhh nicee.

Back from cheryl's bday celebration and yumcha.
not too long ago since our last met. after the murni session last time.
enjoyed juga!

and and sunday im reaching out for the beach? teehee.
luckily my assignment partner aka leader has no fb and all.
he won't know that i play this much. he'll vomit blood if he does. :P

and today we saw snow! i assume its snow.
its some foam-like white thingy, exactly like snow lo, falling down from the sky, like a little here and there. i was alone in school that hour, and i saw it, wanted to ask some stranger around to tell me im not too stressed up to seee some snow-like thingy. but i called my friend happened to be in uni already, we're supposed to meet later. so he came up and he witnessed the snow-like thing oso. we stood there for long to see that. hmmm so is it snowing?

i should study hor. like everyone did. arhhh.
why am i in such relax mood.

haachuuu.

2010-09-28T00:53:00.002+08:00

laptop recharges so slowly. i wana sleeep so badly.
so sickening. cnt blame lar all my fault.
soar throat and then the flu here.
and i had a whole tired but filled day.

yesterday thr's this mid-autumn festival by our area community just behind my house for our residdence.
and elizabeth wong actually turned up. and she told me not to snap her photo cuz she did not make up. lol.
but.... ok there is this sad thing here.
sis's met some not very close friends there ytd cuz like staying this area. and today she's gone. This morning the family failed to wake her up and thats it she passed away just like that.
i mean, how brief life can be. if if im the friend and family, who the hell on earth can accept this. like went off all of the sudden. just..... ugh.
so people, appreciate life. its not certain to be able to wake up every morning alright.

i HATE soar throat and flu seriously. :((
and and can i cut my hair short again. haihz